Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The give figure illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, It is clearly evident that some sectors like Manufacturing and Healthcare are experiencing a decline while sectors such as Agriculture and Retail are on the rise. manufacturing sector dominated the job market in the US economy but is on a steady decline. On the other hand, the healthcare jobs skyrocketed during the same period.

At the beginning of 1960s, the manufacturing sector contributed to the largest portion of jobs in the US economy with around 15 million jobs which is roughly equals to all the sectors combined. The US economy was booming with industrial revolution and the starting of many Industries which required labor for production of goods. The manufacturing experienced its peak at 20 million jobs during 1980s and has been on a rapid decline ever since and dropping below 15 million jobs in 2020. The retail and the agriculture sector both contributed equally in the job market with each representing around 6 million jobs during 1960s. Retail jobs rose sharply throughout the decades and reached its peak at around 16 million, surpassing the manufacturing sector and taking a lead in the economy.

The most significant change observed was with the healthcare sector which had the least amount of jobs at around 2-3 million in 1960s but skyrocketed and climbed to the top to be on par with the retail sector in 2020 contributing about 16 million jobs into the economy. On contrary, the agriculture related jobs experienced steady decline throughout the period with it experiencing it's lows at around 3 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrasts and provide a clear overview of manufacturing’s early dominance, healthcare’s strong growth, and agriculture’s decline. Several figures and comparisons are accurately selected, including manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million and retail and healthcare both reaching around 16 million by 2020. However, the overview contains a significant reversal: it says manufacturing and healthcare declined while agriculture and retail rose, whereas healthcare rose and agriculture fell. Some details are also imprecise: manufacturing was not roughly equal to all other sectors combined in 1960, and agriculture ended at about 2 million, not 3 million. The explanation about an industrial revolution is not shown by the graph. More consistently accurate overview statements and a focus on chart evidence would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Comparisons such as retail and agriculture starting at similar levels, and healthcare matching retail by 2020, help the reader follow the data. However, the overview’s contradictory trend statement disrupts the progression, and the discussion of an industrial revolution interrupts the chart-based account. Some linking phrases, including “On the other hand” and “On contrary,” are used mechanically or awkwardly, while the final paragraph revisits trends already mentioned. To move further, organise the body around clear comparisons or time periods, and ensure each paragraph develops one consistent point with precise referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably varied range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “dominated,” “peak,” “decline,” “rose sharply,” and “surpassing.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and “skyrocketed” conveys the scale of healthcare’s growth. Some expressions are less precise or do not fit formal chart description naturally: “contributed to the largest portion of jobs,” “taking a lead in the economy,” and “jobs into the economy” are awkward collocations. “Steady decline” also conflicts with the overview’s claim that manufacturing declined while the data show healthcare rising. Aim for accurate, neutral reporting verbs and avoid adding economic interpretations that the graph does not establish. More consistent word choice would make the description clearer and more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “which” and “while,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “The give figure illustrates,” the article and noun form are incorrect; “It is clearly evident” also has unnecessary capitalisation after the comma. There are agreement and verb-form problems in “which is roughly equals,” and the sentence beginning “The manufacturing experienced its peak … and has been” shifts awkwardly between past and present perfect. The long sentence about healthcare would benefit from a clearer grammatical structure, and punctuation around sentence openings needs attention. Proofread for agreement, tense consistency, articles, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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