Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This is the information about the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

The Healthcare sector has the least jobs in 1960 out of all these factors. But it is also a sector that showed more growth than all other four sectors providing the highest number of jobs along with retail sector among these 4 sectors.

Agriculture sector had better job ratio in 1960 but as it reached to 2020, it has the least jobs comparing to all other sectors. It is one of the sector showing decline growth along with manufacturing sector among all these sectors.

Retail factor was offering equalant jobs as compared to Agriculture sector in 1960. But it has shown a significant growth till reaching to 2020, becoming the one of the largest job producing sector along with the healthcare sector.

Manufacturing sector was at the top of the list in 1960 among all these sectors. It remained at the top till 2000 showing significant increase till 1980. Currently it is offering less jobs as compared to the retail and healthcare sector.

Sum of all is that the Health and retail department has shown a significant growth from [redacted phone] as comparing to other sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: healthcare rises from the lowest starting point, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. You also note that retail and healthcare are the leading sectors by 2020. However, some comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is not at the top through 2000, since retail reaches about 15 million while manufacturing is about 17 million then; nor does agriculture have a “better job ratio” in 1960, as it is level with retail at roughly 6 million. The overview repeats growth and decline without clearly summarising the main ranking changes or key figures. More precise comparisons across the four dates, especially the 1980 and 2000 turning points, would make the report more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is divided into paragraphs by sector, which gives the reader a basic structure, and the final sentence attempts to summarise the overall pattern. However, the organisation is repetitive: each paragraph follows a similar sequence of starting point, trend and endpoint, while the overview is delayed until the conclusion. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “But it is also a sector” and “as it reached to 2020,” and “all these sectors” is repeated without adding precision. A clearer progression would begin with a concise overview, then group the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together. Use comparisons between sectors to connect the details, rather than treating each line separately.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant terms for describing trends, including “growth,” “decline,” “significant increase” and “least jobs,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the report difficult to interpret. For example, “better job ratio” does not clearly describe the number of jobs, “retail factor” and “health and retail department” are unsuitable labels for sectors, and “equalant jobs” is not an appropriate expression. Repeated use of “sector” and “jobs” also limits variety. Choose precise chart language such as “employment,” “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell” and “stood at,” while keeping the sector names consistent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using contrast and time clauses, for example, “But it has shown a significant growth till reaching to 2020,” but these structures are often faulty. Errors include article use in “the one of the largest,” agreement in “the Health and retail department has,” and sentence construction in “as it reached to 2020.” Tense choices are also inconsistent: the chart covers a completed period, so past forms such as “rose” and “fell” are generally more suitable than “is offering.” Most sentences remain understandable, but the repeated errors and limited control of complex clauses reduce accuracy. Practise shorter, well-controlled comparisons first, then combine them using accurate clauses and consistent past-tense reporting.

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