Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of employments in four sectors namely, manufacturing, retailing, agriculture, and healthcare departments, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, jobs in healthcare despite starting with the lowest figure experienced the most dramatic growth by the end of the time period. Manufacturing industries started with the highest numbers of jobs before dipping back to its almost initial point.

looking at the details, in 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs, stood at 15 million, before reaching at its peak to 20 million in the following year. And this figure decreased gradually to reach around13 million by 2020.

In contrast, retails started with 6 million jobs, before surged significantly to 15 million in 2000, and remained almost stable to 16 million at the end.

Regarding agriculture, jobs accounted for 6 million in 1960, this figure fell gradually to around 3 million in 1980, and stayed almost same by the end of the timeline. Moreover, healthcare department experienced the most dramatic growth, starting with 2.5 million jobs before surged considerably to reach 16 million by 2005.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main contrasting trends: healthcare rises strongly from the lowest starting point, manufacturing peaks and then declines, retail grows, and agriculture falls. It also includes relevant figures for most series. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks in 1980, not “the following year”; healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 2005; and agriculture remains near 3 million until 2000 before falling to about 2 million, rather than staying almost the same through the end. The overview is useful, but “dipping back to its almost initial point” is misleading because manufacturing ends at about 13 million, below its initial 15 million. More precise reporting of the final stages would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing the sectors. Contrasts such as “In contrast” help the reader follow the comparison, and the information generally progresses from manufacturing and retail to agriculture and healthcare. However, some linking and referencing are not fully controlled: “this figure” can refer ambiguously to the preceding value, and “Moreover” does not clearly signal the relationship between the agriculture and healthcare trends. The lowercase opening “looking at the details” also interrupts the otherwise clear paragraphing. To make the progression more polished, use consistent paragraph openings and connect each comparison directly to the relevant sector and time period.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “dramatic growth,” “decreased gradually,” “surged,” and “remained almost stable.” These choices communicate the broad movements, though some are imprecise or unnatural for this chart. “Number of employments” is not the usual expression for job totals, while “retailing” and “retails” are less suitable labels than “retail” or “the retail sector.” “Departments” is also an inaccurate description of economic sectors. Some trend language is repeated, and “reaching at its peak” shows an awkward collocation. Aim for precise sector names and standard chart-reporting phrases, such as “employment in healthcare rose” and “manufacturing peaked at.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including a concessive overview clause (“despite starting with the lowest figure”) and time clauses describing changes. The main meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “before reaching at its peak” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “before surged significantly” should use a participle or a finite clause. The sentence beginning “Regarding agriculture” joins two independent clauses with only a comma, and “this figure fell” would be clearer with a full stop or conjunction. There are also agreement and article issues in “Manufacturing industries … its” and “stayed almost same.” More consistent control of verb forms, sentence boundaries, and articles would improve accuracy.

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