Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the economic growth over four different employment sectors in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare sector rose sharply over the following decades, whereas the agriculture and manufacturing sectors recorded a slight decrease in the end of time frame.

In the past, the healthcare represented only 2.5 million jobs over economy of Us in 1960, while it grew up dramatically in the following decades, constituting 16 million in total. The retail sector contributed 6 millions of employed contributing in the economy, whereas it increased significantly till 2020, represented around 16 million of employees.

The manufacturing sector was the most prominent in 1960, representing the highest numbers of employment shares contributing in the overall economy, which was recorded approx 15 million of jobs. However, it spiked in 1980 for 20 millions and then plummeted significantly, resulting in 12.5 million of total jobs in 2020. The agriculture was also recorded a sharp decline till the end of the time frame, resulting only 2.5 million of jobs, while it represented around 6 million of jobs in 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall pattern: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. The response also selects relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s leading position in 1960 and its 1980 high. Most reported figures are close to the chart; the healthcare starting point is given as 2.5 million rather than about 2 million, and the 2020 manufacturing and agriculture figures are slightly low, but these are small discrepancies. The overview is clear, though it would be more complete if it noted that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million and that manufacturing remains above its 1960 level. More precise coverage of the stages in each trend would strengthen an otherwise relevant summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the rising sectors and then the declining ones. This makes the information easy to follow overall. Linking words such as “whereas,” “while,” and “however” help signal comparisons, but some connections are awkward or repetitive: “whereas” is used to join trends that could be stated more directly, and “in the end of time frame” is not a natural reference. The grouping of healthcare and retail together, followed by manufacturing and agriculture, is logical, although the paragraph about the rising sectors contains two separate descriptions with little comparison between them. Use clearer references and more purposeful transitions to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “rose sharply,” “decline,” “prominent,” and “plummeted,” which helps describe trends and comparisons. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a graph report, such as “economic growth over four different employment sectors,” “grew up dramatically,” and “represented around 16 million of employees.” Repetition of “jobs” and “represented” also limits flexibility. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main trends, but more accurate collocations and concise wording would improve precision. Prefer standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “accounted for,” and use “employment” or “workforce” selectively rather than repeatedly describing jobs as contributions to the economy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas,” “while,” and “which.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the healthcare represented” needs an article or a different subject, and “The agriculture was also recorded” has an incorrect passive construction. There are also problems with number and sentence patterns in “6 millions of employed” and “it spiked in 1980 for 20 millions.” Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or awkward, as in “in United States” and “in the end of time frame.” Aim for reliable structures such as “Healthcare had about two million jobs” and “Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980.”

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