Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information about four types of economical sectors in which people had jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector had decreased gradually despite being the highest in the beginning, while the figures for other three sectors showed the opposite increasing trend.

In 1960, exactly 60 million jobs were witnessed in manufacturing against healthcare, accounted for nerly 6 million, but then, the number of jobs in manufacturing inclined considerably to 20 million in 1980, where healthcare decreased and levelled off to around 2.5 million until 2020. However, the ratio for manufacturing industry declined slightly, reaching 17 milion in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.

Employment in retail sector was around 6 million in 1960 which had a rapid growth and reached its three times in 2020 (approximtely 16 million). In contrast, Agricultural sector was preferred by only 6 million people initially, but showed a steady downfall and became the least favorable in terms of working standing at near about 2.5 million until the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad decline in manufacturing and the rise in retail, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is inaccurate: it says all three other sectors increased, whereas agriculture fell throughout, from about 6 million to 2 million. There is also a major data error in “exactly 60 million jobs” for manufacturing in 1960; the figure is about 15 million. The healthcare account is reversed: it rose from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than decreasing and levelling off. Retail’s endpoint is described, but its steady rise is not clearly tracked. These inaccuracies and omissions mean the main features are only minimally and partly reported. Check each series against the graph before summarising.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, with comparisons signalled by “while,” “but,” and “In contrast.” This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression is weakened because the overview claims that all three non-manufacturing sectors increased, then the final paragraph describes agriculture declining. The healthcare sentence also combines unrelated movements in a confusing way, making it difficult to follow which sector is rising or falling. Some linking words are used mechanically rather than to clarify relationships. Grouping the two rising sectors together and agriculture with manufacturing’s decline, then describing each trend accurately, would create a clearer progression and more reliable cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “inclined considerably,” “levelled off,” “rapid growth,” and “steady downfall,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “economical sectors,” “the ratio for manufacturing industry,” “working standing,” and “became the least favorable” do not express employment figures precisely. “Inclined” is also an unsuitable verb for a numerical increase, while “witnessed” is awkward for reporting a figure. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “nerly,” “milion,” and “approximtely.” Prefer standard, precise collocations such as “employment in the manufacturing sector rose” and “the number of jobs fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “but,” and “which,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. However, errors recur in sentence construction and grammatical relationships. For example, “healthcare, accounted for nearly 6 million” lacks a clear grammatical connection, and “reached its three times in 2020” is not a well-formed comparison. The sentence beginning “In 1960” also joins figures for different sectors in a confusing structure. Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or awkward, as in “in manufacturing sector” and “reaching 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.” Use shorter, controlled sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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