Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

the given line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four different sectors of the us economy namely manufacturing, retail, a agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

it can be clearly seen that, manufacturing was the largest employment sector in 1960 and reached its peak in 1980 before decling steadily. in contrast, retail and healthcare experianced significant growth throughout the period. agriculture showed an overall downward trend and became the smallest employment sector by 2020.

in 1960, approximately 15 million people worked in manufacturing, compared with around 6 million in retail. The figure for agriculture was slightly lower, at around 5 million, while healthcare employed only 2 million people. by 1980, manufacturing employemnt employemnt had increased to 20 million, making it the largest area. retail also grew considerably to 10 million, whereas healthcare rose to approximately 5 million. meanwhile, agriculture employemnt fell to around 3 million.

in 2000, manufacturing employment declined to about 17 million, while retail continued to increase nearly 15 million. healthcare also saw significant growth, reaching approximately 11 million. meanwhile, agriculture remained stable at around 3 million.

by 2020, retail and healthcare has both reached approximately16 million employees, overtaking manufacturing, which fell to around 13 million. agriculture declined further to roughly 2 million, making is the least significant sector in terms of employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response gives a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls to the lowest level by 2020. It also supports these points with figures across all four years and makes relevant comparisons, including the equal 16-million totals for retail and healthcare in 2020. The reported values are generally accurate; the 1960 agriculture figure is given as about 5 million rather than 6 million, a small discrepancy. To strengthen the response further, make the overview slightly more precise by noting that healthcare rises especially sharply after 1980 and that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2000, rather than relying mainly on broad trend descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The information is organised in a clear sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs covering 1960–1980, 2000, and 2020. This makes the changes easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “in contrast,” “meanwhile,” and “by 2020” help signal comparisons and time shifts. However, the year-by-year structure sometimes reads as a list of figures, and “meanwhile” is repeated without always adding a meaningful contrast. The 2000 and 2020 paragraphs could connect the series more explicitly—for example, by showing how retail and healthcare close the gap with manufacturing. More varied, precise transitions and clearer grouping of related trends would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of task vocabulary, including “employment sector,” “reached its peak,” “downward trend,” “declined,” and “overtaking,” so the main trends are communicated clearly. However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “decling,” “experianced,” and repeated misspellings of “employment.” Some phrasing is also imprecise or awkward: “the largest area” is less suitable than “the largest sector,” and “least significant sector” could imply importance rather than employment size. There is some repetition of “increased,” “grew,” and “significant growth.” More accurate spelling, natural collocations, and a wider choice of trend verbs would improve precision and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a useful mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses such as “while retail continued to increase” and time clauses introduced by “by 1980.” Most relationships between figures remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however: “the given line graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, “retail and healthcare has both reached” should use a plural verb, and “which fell to around 13 million” needs “fell by” only if describing the amount of decline. There are also missing or inconsistent sentence-initial capitals and punctuation, as well as an awkward construction in “retail continued to increase nearly 15 million.” Check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries carefully, while retaining the range of structures already attempted.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.