Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph illustrates number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was stated with highest number but decreased at the end. While, the agriculture sector showed decrease in jobs throughout the period.

In 1960, the number of employed in manufacturing field was 15 million which gradually increased to peak at 20 million in 1980, the continously dropped to around 17 million in 2000 and approximately 14 million by 2020. While, in the retail sector number of jobs was about 6 million in 1960, then rose to 10 million in 1980 this trend continued and in 2000 employement reached at 15 million jobs at the end in 2020 it was around 16 million.

Furthermore, the agriculture sector showed fall in number of jobs starting from approximately 6 million in 1960, which gradually fell to around 4 million in 1980. Then remained stable untill 2000 at about 4 million, in the last two decades number of jobs gently reduced to approximately 3 million jobs. Finally, in the healthcare sector number of jobs were about 3 million in 1960, which surged to 5 million in 1980, in the next two decades the number drastically increased to almost 11 million and the lastly rose to about 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak before declining, agriculture’s overall fall, and strong growth in retail and healthcare. The overview identifies manufacturing as initially the largest sector and notes agriculture’s decline, while the body gives useful comparisons and figures. However, the overview could better capture the key end-point comparison: by 2020, retail and healthcare were joint leaders at about 16 million, while manufacturing had fallen to around 13 million. Some figures are also consistently a little high for agriculture and healthcare—for example, agriculture is about 3 million, not 4 million, in both 1980 and 2000, and healthcare starts at about 2 million. More precise selection and comparison of these features would make the summary clearer and more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group manufacturing with retail and agriculture with healthcare. This makes the information easy to follow. You also use sequencing expressions such as “In 1960,” “Then,” and “Finally” to guide the reader through the years. At times, however, linking is mechanical or punctuation makes relationships between ideas unclear. For example, the retail sentence runs together several stages—“then rose to 10 million… this trend continued… at the end in 2020”—without clear sentence boundaries. “While” also begins a sentence fragment in the manufacturing paragraph. Use full stops and more varied, precise links to show contrasts and changes without relying mainly on chronological sequencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “gradually increased,” “peak,” “surged,” “remained stable,” and “reduced.” These choices help distinguish rises, falls, and periods of stability. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations, such as “the number of employed,” “was stated with highest number,” and “reached at 15 million jobs.” Spelling errors, including “continously,” “employement,” and “untill,” are noticeable, although the intended meaning remains clear. Aim for standard chart-reporting phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, use “the number of jobs” rather than “the number of employed,” and “reached 15 million” rather than “reached at 15 million.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and time expressions such as “in the next two decades.” The main trends are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Articles and noun phrases are sometimes incomplete, as in “illustrates number of jobs” and “in manufacturing field”; agreement is also inaccurate in “the number of jobs were.” Several sentences join independent clauses with commas or lack clear punctuation, particularly the long retail description. The sentence beginning “While, in the retail sector…” is not well formed as a standalone sentence, and “the lastly rose” has an incorrect structure. Improve article use, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex clauses.

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