Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph below gives data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US,from past 60 years according to graph.

overall,numbers of jobs in 1960 according to data given agriculture ,manufacturing,retail,healtcare these fours sectors of the economy.

Moreover,Agriculture sector is largest jobs produce factor as shown in graph because agriculture is the important sector of the economy and its increased as shown in figure and Healthcare sector also most important factor for the economy because we need to work on the healthcare sector and produce jobs.Manufacturing sector is for the manifacture things and its mostly used in factory for manifacturing products.

However,the number of jobs in retail sector increased from 6 million in 1960 to 13 million in 2000.Employment in the retail sector showed a steady upward trend through out the period.In 1960,Manufacturing have the largest sector having 15 millions jobs.Agriculture is also largest sector having 10 millions jobs in 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a limited attempt to describe the graph, but it does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main trends. It incorrectly says agriculture was the largest sector and increased; in fact, agriculture declined from about 6 million jobs to 2 million. It also reports 10 million agricultural jobs in 1960, rather than about 6 million, and gives retail as 13 million in 2000 instead of about 15 million. The manufacturing peak and the growth in retail and healthcare are only partly addressed, while much of the discussion about why sectors are important is not supported by the graph. The response is also 7 words below the 150-word minimum. To improve, summarise the overall trends accurately and select a few reliable comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, a section beginning “Moreover,” and a final paragraph introduced by “However.” The final sentences also include some relevant comparisons. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear and several ideas are placed together without a logical relationship, particularly the explanations about agriculture, healthcare and manufacturing. Linking words such as “Moreover” and “However” do not consistently show the relationship between the points that follow them. The response would be clearer if it used separate paragraphs for an accurate overview and the key data, then grouped related trends together—for example, rising sectors and declining sectors. Use linking expressions only where they accurately connect the ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “number of jobs,” “sector,” “increased,” and “upward trend,” so the general subject is usually identifiable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “largest jobs produce factor” and “having 15 millions jobs.” Repetition of “sector” and “jobs” also limits flexibility, while spelling errors such as “healtcare” and “manifacture” reduce accuracy. Some wording, including the claim that agriculture “increased,” also makes the intended description misleading. Aim for precise chart language such as “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentence forms, including the sentence beginning “Moreover” and the comparison introduced by “However,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence boundaries and punctuation are frequent: the opening joins a comma to “from,” and several sentences begin with lowercase words after full stops. There are also problems with articles, agreement and number, as in “Agriculture sector is” and “15 millions jobs,” as well as verb forms in “Manufacturing have.” These errors make some relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Build accuracy first with clear subject–verb sentences, for example, “Manufacturing had about 15 million jobs in 1960.” Then practise combining accurate clauses with “while” or “whereas,” and use consistent capitalisation and full stops.

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