Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph demonstrates the number of jobs in Manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare .

Firstly , for manufacturing we see a increase in jobs on the past but it decreases overtime to rougly 13 million. Secondly, we see a gradual rise of jobs in retail overtime , the number stands at approximately 16 million in 2020 . Thirdly , we have healthcare which similarly saw a jump in the amount of jobs. It stands at around 16 million jobs in 2020. Finally , in the agriculture sector we see a gradual decrease in the number of available jobs. In 2020, the number of job stands at an all time low 2 million.

We can see from the graph that Retail and Healthcares job sector is growing day by day where as manufacturing and agriculture is declining . We can also observe that most new jobs are being formed in the healthcare sector. In 2020 , healthcare and retail have the most jobs but in future we can expect healthcare to be the sector with most jobs .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. The 2020 figures you give for manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture are consistent with the chart, and you note that retail and healthcare are the largest sectors at the end. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing does not decline throughout, and healthcare does not simply “jump”; it rises steadily from about 2 million to 16 million. The claim that most new jobs are being formed in healthcare is not clearly supported by the chart, which only shows four dates, and the prediction about future employment goes beyond the data. Include key comparisons across the years to develop the account more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: it introduces the graph, describes the sectors in sequence, and ends with a summary comparison. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Finally” help readers follow the account. However, this pattern becomes mechanical, and the final paragraph repeats points already made rather than bringing the main comparisons together. Some links between ideas are also unclear: “where as manufacturing and agriculture is declining” compresses two different trends, while “day by day” suggests continuous change that the graph does not show. Grouping the sectors by trend and comparing their figures at the same dates would create a more logical progression and make the cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “gradual rise,” “decrease,” “approximately,” and “all time low,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range is somewhat repetitive, with “jobs,” “number,” and “we see” recurring, and some expressions are imprecise or unsuitable for a graph. “Jump” overstates the steady rise in healthcare, while “growing day by day” implies daily data. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “rougly” and “Healthcares job sector.” Aim for more precise trend language and accurate collocations, such as describing a sector’s employment level or saying that it increased steadily. This would make the report clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple statements and longer clauses, and most of the intended meaning can be understood. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “we see a increase” needs “an increase,” and “the number of job stands” should use a plural noun and a matching verb. In “Retail and Healthcares job sector is growing,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the possessive form is incorrect. Punctuation spacing is also inconsistent, with spaces before several commas and full stops. Practise checking articles, singular and plural forms, and agreement, while varying sentence structures to compare trends accurately.

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