Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of employment in four different sectors of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in healthcare and retail sectos were increasing year by year, whereas in manufacturing and agriculture jobs were decreasing over the given period in the US.

In 1960, the jobs were the highest in manufacturing sector around 15 millions, while in the healthcare sector almost 3 millions ; similer number of people were worked in retail and agricuture approximately 6 million each. The employment in manufacturing industry rose to 20 million in 1980. In retail and agriculture stood at 10 million and 5 million, respectively. In contrast, the jobs were fell to around 3 million in agriculture sector.

Moving towords the remaining years, in 2020, the employment rate in manufacturing dropped and reached almost 14 million; the retail and healthcare sector jobs increased to the peak around 16 million each in same year .However, agriculture decreased to approximately 3 million in final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast between the expanding healthcare and retail sectors and the declining agriculture sector, and you report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare both reaching around 16 million in 2020. This gives the response a clear, relevant overview. However, the overview says manufacturing declined throughout, although it first rose before falling, and “year by year” overstates what can be concluded from four data points. The 2000 figures are also omitted, so the middle stages of the trends are less fully covered. To strengthen the response, describe the full pattern for each sector and compare the 2000 values as well as the endpoints.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear three-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting figures. The sequence from 1960 to 1980 and then to 2020 is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Moving towards” help signal relationships. Some progression is less effective because the final paragraph jumps directly from 1980 to 2020 without explaining the 2000 data, and the overview’s broad trend statement does not match manufacturing’s initial rise. There is also a confusing repetition around agriculture: it is first said to stand at 5 million in 1980, then to have fallen to around 3 million. Grouping the figures consistently by year or sector would make comparisons clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “illustrates,” “in contrast,” “dropped,” “increased,” and “approximately.” These choices make the main trends understandable. However, several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “sectos,” “similer,” “agricuture,” and “towwords.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “number of employment” and “employment rate” do not accurately describe the number of jobs, while “jobs were the highest” is awkward. Aim for accurate collocations and consistent terms such as “number of jobs” or “employment in the sector.” This would make the vocabulary more natural and precise while retaining the useful range already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “whereas” and a sentence using “while.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “people were worked” should be “people worked,” and “the jobs were fell” should be “jobs fell.” The phrase “In retail and agriculture stood at 10 million and 5 million” is missing a clear subject, while “in same year” needs an article. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a space before a full stop and no space after “However.” Review sentence patterns for reporting figures and check verb forms and articles; more consistently accurate sentences would improve control.

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