Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph clearly illustrate that healthcare sector was boomed from the begining years that means it has the highest number of jobs whereas, retail sectors is in the same level with healthcare. However, Agriculture sectors has the least number of jobs in the comparision with other sectors. Manufacturing sectors has the decent number of jobs because it was slightly rose in begining year then it experienced a sudden downfall.

In 1960 the number of jobs in Healthcare and Retail was 2m & 6m then both sector boomed their number of jobs and peaked at 16 in 2020. Whereas, after 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sectors suddenly dropped to 13 from 15. Agriculture sector has the lowest number of jobs among all four sectors because from [redacted phone] it hasn't rose a sigle number of job infact it sharply dropped to almost bottom of the graph which is 0 from 5.

Among all four sectors Agriculture and Retail has the peak number of jobs and both are in same level in the competition. Manufacturing was in top at the 1980 with the 20 million number of jobs which agriculture and retail sectors can't even reached in 2020. However, after 1980 the manufacturing sectors experienced a great downfall and reached to 2 million on 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and attempt an overview, but the main trends are often misreported, which makes the response only partially accurate. Healthcare did not have the highest number of jobs from the beginning: it started at about 2 million and rose to 16 million, tying with retail in 2020. Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, then declined to 13 million, not 2 million, by 2020. Agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than reaching zero. The claim that agriculture and retail both had peak employment is also incorrect. Focus on the overall pattern for each sector and check every comparison against the graph before including it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has separate introduction, overview and detail paragraphs, and it uses basic linking words such as “Overall,” “Whereas” and “However.” However, the information does not progress clearly: the overview contains inaccurate comparisons, and the final paragraph repeats some points while introducing further contradictions. For example, manufacturing is first said to reach 13 million in 2020, then to fall to 2 million; agriculture and retail are also described as having the peak number of jobs. Some links are awkwardly attached to sentences, and references such as “both sector” do not make the comparison clear. Organise the body by grouping related trends, and use each paragraph to report distinct, verified information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “peaked,” “dropped,” “number of jobs” and “sectors,” so the reader can generally recognise the topic and intended trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “was boomed,” “same level with,” “decent number of jobs” and “in the competition” are not natural ways to describe graph data. Spelling errors, including “begining,” “comparision” and “sigle,” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use neutral reporting language, such as “rose steadily,” “remained stable” and “was the lowest.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “whereas,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur frequently. For example, “The line graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “both sector boomed their number of jobs” has problems with number and verb form. “Manufacturing was in top at the 1980” also shows difficulty with articles and prepositions. Some sentences join contrasting ideas without clear punctuation or structure. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them using controlled clauses such as “while” and “whereas.”

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