Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate gives information about the number of job in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Retail increased conmsiderably over the peried. After that healthcare was gradually down.However, manufacturing sectors of the economy was flucturated in 1960 to 2020. Moreover, Agriculture is going slowly rise.

Firstly, In 1980 manufacturing is high grow which is amount of 20 millions compared to agriculture which is 4 millions. after that Retail sectors of the economy in the US which is 10 millions . Neverthenless, healthcare was 5 millions. In 2000 years was retail is increased in 2020 which is 16 millions.

On the other hand, in 1960 healthcare which is 3 millions comper to agriculture is high amount which 6 millions. Furtherm, manufacturing highest amount sectors of the economy in the US which is 15 million.But, In 2020 rentail and healthcare was significantly amount which is 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and retail and healthcare at 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is substantially inaccurate: healthcare did not decline, agriculture did not rise, and manufacturing fluctuated rather than simply following the unclear description given. The chart shows healthcare rising throughout and agriculture generally falling; these are central features that should be reported accurately. Several comparisons are also incomplete or confused, and the 2000 figures are not clearly described. The response is 141 words, below the required 150, which further limits the coverage. Aim for a concise, accurate overview followed by clear comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall,” “Firstly” and “On the other hand” signal stages in the discussion. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs move between years and sectors without a consistent comparison pattern. For example, the 1980 paragraph shifts from manufacturing to agriculture, retail and healthcare, then jumps to 2020. Some linking expressions do not show a clear relationship between the ideas, and sentence boundaries and spacing are inconsistent. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, with each paragraph moving chronologically, would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “fluctuated” and “amount,” and attempts to describe change over time. However, the range is basic and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear. Examples include “healthcare was gradually down,” “manufacturing is high grow” and “rentail and healthcare was significantly amount.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “conmsiderably,” “peried” and “Neverthenless.” Use precise chart language and familiar collocations, for example “the number of jobs rose,” “reached a peak” and “declined steadily.” Check spelling and choose nouns or verbs that fit the sentence rather than repeating “amount.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the response generally communicates that the graph compares employment over time. However, grammatical errors occur frequently and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “The line graph illustrate” and “manufacturing sectors … was flucturated”; verb forms are also faulty in “manufacturing is high grow.” Several clauses lack a clear grammatical structure, as in “In 2000 years was retail is increased in 2020.” Articles, plurals and punctuation also need attention, including “20 millions” and the missing space after “down.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data.

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