Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares number of jobs in millions in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sector in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing sector remained top job job providing sector till 2000. Retail and healthcare sectors kept on employing more and more individuals with every passing year. Number of jobs in agriculture only dropped and became low in 2020.

In 1960 manufacturing industry was the only one to provide 15 million jobs which then went up to 20 million in 2020, dipped to about 16 million in 2000 and fell sharply to 13 million in 2020 going below retail and healtcare.

Retail and agriculture employed 6 million people in 1960 but jobs oppertunities grew from 5 to 10 million in retail in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. On the other hand, jobs in agriculture experiences decline from 5 to 3 million in 1980, arounf 2.9 million in 2000 and 2 million in 2020 the lowest number of jobs across all four sectors. Retail ended up on same number if jobs in 2020 as provided by healthcare that is 16 million, increasig from 3 million in 1960 to 5 in 1980 and 11 in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and give a useful overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls to the lowest level. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980, not 2020, and the opening comparison says retail and agriculture both had 6 million jobs in 1960, whereas healthcare had 2 million. The final sentence also incorrectly says healthcare increased from 3 million in 1960; it rose from 2 million. These errors weaken the accuracy of an otherwise relevant summary. To strengthen the response, check each figure against the graph and make the key comparisons—especially the changing sector rankings—more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sector figures. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps distinguish agriculture’s decline from retail’s growth, and the main trends can generally be followed. However, progression is uneven because the final sentence shifts from retail to healthcare without a clear transition, and its comparison is difficult to interpret. Some information is repeated, such as the 2020 retail and healthcare figures, while the overview could more clearly group the rising and falling sectors. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture first, then retail and healthcare—and use references that make each sector unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “went up,” “dipped,” “fell sharply,” and “decline,” so the reader can understand the broad movements. There is also some attempt at more formal phrasing, such as “employing more and more individuals.” However, several choices are awkward or imprecise: “job providing sector” is not a natural collocation, and “jobs opportunities” does not accurately describe the number of jobs. Spelling errors such as “healtcare,” “oppertunities,” “arounf,” and “increasig” are noticeable. Aim for concise, standard chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” and “fell to,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, as in “On the other hand, jobs in agriculture…” and the sentence comparing retail with healthcare. This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors recur in sentence construction and grammatical forms. The opening needs an article (“compares the number of jobs”), while “Manufacturing sector” also needs “the.” The phrase “agriculture experiences decline” has an inconsistent verb form, and “same number if jobs” contains a faulty construction. The long final sentence joins several ideas in a way that makes the comparison unclear. Use shorter, controlled sentences and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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