Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph is given which represents the number of jobs in four different sectors of US economy in the timeline from 1960 to 2020. These four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors. So, lets summurize the given information.

In 1960, manufacturing sector has the highest jobs which are 15 million, while the other three sectors have far less jobs, however at that time retail and agriculture only have 6 million and healthcare sector has 2 million jobs. In 1980, jobs in three sectors are constantly increasing except agriculture as in this sector jobs reached at 2.5 million after a drastic fall, meanwhile, manufacturing reached at 20 million, retail at 10 million, and healthcare at 5 million.

Then in 2000, jobs in manufacturing also decreses and reached at 17 million, while retail reached at 15 million, healthcare at 11 million, and the agriculture remains constant at 2.5 million jobs. And at last in year 2020, jobs in manufacturing reached at 13 million after constant decrease and retail and healthcare both reached at same point of 16 million jobs and he agriculture sector decreased to 2 million jobs which is massive decrease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report the four sectors and cover the full period, with several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the equal 16-million totals for retail and healthcare in 2020. However, the response does not give a clear overview of the main trends, so the reader must infer the key comparisons from the year-by-year account. Some details are inaccurate: agriculture was about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, not 2.5 million, and it fell gradually rather than after a “drastic fall.” Calling its final decline “massive” also overstates the change from 3 to 2 million. To strengthen the report, add an overview highlighting manufacturing’s rise then decline, the growth of retail and healthcare, and agriculture’s overall fall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is presented in a generally logical chronological order, and the transitions “In 1980,” “Then in 2000,” and “at last in year 2020” help the reader follow the timeline. The response also groups several sectors within each period, giving it a coherent overall arrangement. However, the opening spends space announcing that the writer will summarise, rather than establishing the main features, and the report is essentially one continuous sequence without a distinct overview or clear paragraphing. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “while” and “and,” and the long sentences make comparisons harder to follow. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and one or two detail paragraphs, using links that show contrast or change more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary such as “sectors,” “reached,” “decrease,” and “constant,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. There is some attempt at more descriptive language, for example “drastic fall” and “massive decrease,” but these phrases are not well matched to the relatively small agricultural changes. Several spelling errors, including “summurize” and “decreses,” reduce accuracy, while phrases such as “jobs are constantly increasing” and “reached at” are awkward or imprecise. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and avoid overstating changes. Useful alternatives include “the number of jobs rose,” “stood at,” and “declined gradually”; check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts compound and complex sentences, using structures such as “while” and “except,” and most of the information remains understandable. However, errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “manufacturing sector has” should be “the manufacturing sector had,” and “retail and agriculture only have” should use a past-tense form to match the year being described. The sentence beginning “In 1980, jobs in three sectors are constantly increasing” also mixes tense and does not accurately express the period’s changes. There are some run-on sentences joined by commas and conjunctions. Use past simple consistently for the historical data, check singular/plural agreement, and separate long comparisons into clearer sentences.

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