Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the graph presents information about jobs in four sectors (Healthcare,Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture) in US from 1960 to 2020.There has been significant changes in all sectors in case of employment over the passage of time.
Retail and healthcare sector showed improvement in job creation with the time. there were only 3 million jobs pf healthcare in 1960 which had gradual increase till 2000 and faced slight increase till 2020. the ratail sector also had gradual increase in number of employement.in 1960 it had only 6 million job but at the end of 2020 it employed 16 million people.
on the other side, Manufacturing and agriculture sector wasn't doing well. in 1960,Manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs which peaked in 2000 with 20 million jobs. after that it gradually decreased by 2020. Agriculture sector also showed downward trend by the time. it had 6 million jobs in 1960 but by 2020 it only had 3 million jobs left.
The scenrios had changed in US job market
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the four sectors and describe the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture. However, several key figures and trends are inaccurate: healthcare began at about 2 million jobs, not 3 million; manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million, not in 2000; and agriculture ended at about 2 million, not 3 million. The response also lacks a clear, accurate overview of the main changes, such as healthcare and retail both reaching roughly 16 million by 2020 while manufacturing declined from its peak. To strengthen the report, select the most important comparisons and support them with accurate figures across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph on the rising sectors, one on the declining sectors, and a brief ending. This grouping helps the reader follow the broad comparison. However, progression is limited, and the final sentence, “The scenrios had changed in US job market,” does not clearly summarise the data. Some linking phrases, such as “on the other side,” are used mechanically, while the account would benefit from clearer sequencing of the years and more explicit comparisons between sectors. Organise the body around the main trends, then use accurate time references and linking expressions to show how each sector changed and how their positions compared by 2020.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant task vocabulary, including “job creation,” “gradual increase,” “peaked,” and “downward trend,” so the reader can understand the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “showed improvement in job creation” and “wasn’t doing well,” which are informal or imprecise for describing employment figures. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ratail,” “employement,” and “scenrios.” Aim for precise, neutral language such as “employment rose,” “recorded a decline,” and “the number of jobs.” Proofreading spelling and choosing standard chart-description phrases would make the report clearer and more appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more developed sentences, including “Retail and healthcare sector showed improvement in job creation with the time” and “in 1960, Manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs which peaked in 2000.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in articles, agreement, tense, and punctuation recur. For example, “Retail and healthcare sector” needs a plural construction, and “There has been significant changes” has incorrect agreement and tense. Several sentences also run together or begin without capital letters, making the writing less controlled. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and sentence boundaries, for example: “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
