Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

If we talk about Manufacturing, in 1960's the revenue of manufacturing was at 15 millions and in 1980 it made a huge improvemnet and increased its revenue to 20 millions but in the year 2000, its downfall started and its revenue goes down to 17.5 million and in the year 2020, its revnue went down to 8 million and still no progress at all.

The Healthcare was just at about 2.5 million in the year 1960 but with the existing demand and need it went upto 16 million competing the retail economy.

The Agricultural and retail both were at the same when they started in 1960 but the only difference was which is going up and which is down. The Jobs in Retail sector went up with passage of time reaching upto 16 million whereas the Agriculture keep on going down and in 2020 it has reached to only 2millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends: manufacturing rises before declining, healthcare grows substantially, retail increases, and agriculture falls. However, the report is only partially accurate and lacks a clear overview of the main picture. In particular, manufacturing is reported as falling to 8 million in 2020, whereas the chart shows about 13 million; its 2000 figure is also closer to 17 million than 17.5. The response does not clearly compare the sectors at the end, when retail and healthcare are both around 16 million and lead the chart. Some descriptions, such as “no progress at all,” are not supported by the data. A concise overview and more reliable selection of key figures would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into three paragraphs, each focusing on a sector or group of sectors, and the reader can generally follow the trends being described. Basic linking phrases such as “but,” “whereas,” and “with passage of time” help connect ideas. However, there is no clear introductory statement or overall summary, so the report does not progress from a broad overview to selected details. The final paragraph combines retail and agriculture, but the comparison is not developed with specific stages or figures. Some transitions are also awkward, and repeated references to “in the year” make the flow mechanical. Organising the response as an introduction, overview, and two detail paragraphs would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing change, including “increased,” “went down,” “reaching,” and “competing.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate for this chart. The graph shows jobs, not revenue, so repeatedly describing “the revenue” misrepresents what is measured. Phrases such as “huge improvement” and “no progress at all” are imprecise or evaluative rather than neutral descriptions of data. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “improvemnet” and “revnue,” and some awkward expressions such as “the Agricultural and retail both.” Use precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable” to report the figures more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “but” and “whereas,” and most of the trends remain understandable. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the report awkward. Examples include “in 1960’s,” “its revenue goes down,” and “the Agriculture keep on going down,” where articles, tense, or subject–verb agreement are not controlled. The sentence beginning “The Agricultural and retail both were at the same” is also structurally unclear. There are inconsistent tense choices when describing past data. Practise using consistent past-tense forms and checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries in each sentence.

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