Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates the structural shift of jobs across four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall the graph fluctuated, manufacturing sector declined after peaking in 1980. While healthcare and retail grew staedily.

In 1960, manufacturing employed 15 million workers in 1960, highest of all sectors, peaking to 20 million in 1980 before falling sharply to a low of 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Conersly, Healthcare started at only 2 million but surged dramatically after 1980, reaching 16 million effectively matching retail sector in 2020 which climbed consistently from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million over the period.

Agriculture meanwhile dropped from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and then remained steady over the period, showing no significant change.

This trend showcases the transition in the interest of people from product based employemets to service based jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main pattern: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The figures are generally accurate, including manufacturing’s 15-to-20-to-13 million pattern and agriculture’s drop to about 3 million. However, the overview is brief and somewhat imprecise: “the graph fluctuated” does not clearly summarise the contrasting sector trends, and the final claim about people’s “interest” shifting to service jobs is an inference not directly shown by job totals. Healthcare’s rise from 2 million to 16 million, including its strong growth after 1980, could be described more fully. The response is also 142 words, below the required 150; develop the comparisons with a little more relevant detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to sector details, and “Overall,” “Conersly,” and “meanwhile” help signal relationships. The main comparisons are grouped sensibly, particularly the contrast between manufacturing and the growing healthcare and retail sectors. However, the overview is split into short, somewhat disconnected statements, and the final sentence about a shift toward service jobs feels like a separate conclusion rather than a supported summary of the chart. Some links are also unclear: “after 1980” does not specify the stages of healthcare’s rise, while “over the period” is repeated without adding a precise comparison. Use a clearer overview and connect each paragraph’s details to its central trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some appropriate task vocabulary, including “peaking,” “surged dramatically,” “climbed consistently,” and “remained steady,” which helps describe changes rather than merely list figures. There is also an attempt to use more formal phrasing, such as “structural shift.” However, several spelling errors—“staedily,” “Conersly,” and “employemets”—are noticeable, and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural. “The graph fluctuated” is too general for the distinct trends, while “interest of people” does not accurately describe what the chart measures. “Product based employments” is also an awkward phrase. Choose precise terms such as employment levels, goods-producing sectors, and service sectors, and proofread spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including the contrast introduced by “While” and the longer sentence comparing healthcare with retail. Most of the data relationships remain understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation issues nevertheless reduce control. “Overall the graph fluctuated, manufacturing sector declined…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma, and “While healthcare and retail grew steadily” is a fragment when separated from the preceding sentence. In “In 1960, manufacturing employed 15 million workers in 1960,” the time phrase is duplicated; “the manufacturing sector” also needs an article. The phrase “peaking to 20 million” uses an unsuitable grammatical pattern; write “peaking at 20 million.” Aim for complete, well-punctuated sentences while retaining varied structures.

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