Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph given provides information about the figure of jobs in four sectors of US economy in between 1960 to 2020. Overall,the Healthcare could be said to have the best growing economy.However,coming to the 2020 the largest number of jobs economy is of retail and healthcare.The manufacturing economy which provided the most jobs earlier has now been steadily decreasing and making it even lower then the retail economy.Furthermore,the agriculture economy which was above healthcare in 1960 has been constantly decreasing till 2020. Starting from the 1960,the manufacturing market was growing steadily before seeing a constant decline till 2020 from having a 15 million jobs economy to having a peak 20 million jobs economy to watching a decline to aprroximately miliion only.The Healthcare economy starting from approximately 2.2 miliion economy in 1960 to making around 5 million increase in between twenty years each 1960 to 1980 and then from 1980 to 2000 showing approximately same graph of growth.However,it gained very low increase going only around 16 million till 2020. The retail economy has showed similar graph as of the healthcare.Regardless,the retail economy was at around 5.5 million in 1960.However,having approximately the same number of jobs economy in 2020.The agriculture job economy has only seen decline starting from 1960 at around 5.5 million to goind down to approximatelly 2.6 miliion in 1980 and having around same number till 2000.However,during the time period from 2000 to 2020 the agriculture job economy has seen a steady decline reaching the mark of around 1.8 miliion in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare grows strongly, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. You also make relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s earlier lead and the convergence of healthcare and retail by 2020. However, some key details are unclear or inaccurate. The statement that retail and healthcare have the largest number of jobs in 2020 is broadly right, but retail is about 16 million and healthcare also about 16 million; this equality could be stated more precisely. Several figures are omitted or confused: manufacturing’s 2020 value is left blank, and the healthcare description misrepresents its rise from 5 million in 1980 to 11 million in 2000 as approximately the same growth. More precise reporting of these stages would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a coherent general route through the information, and comparisons such as manufacturing’s decline and agriculture’s fall are placed in relevant sections. However, progression is weakened by repeated transitions such as “However” and “Regardless,” which do not always express the relationship between ideas accurately. The sector-by-sector account also sometimes jumps between trends and figures without a clear comparison, and references such as “the same number” are ambiguous about which years or sectors are being compared. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer links between sentences, would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “steadily decreasing,” “constant decline,” and “reaching the mark,” so the main patterns are generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated and unnatural phrases such as “jobs economy,” “manufacturing market,” and “Healthcare economy.” These expressions make the description less precise because the chart reports numbers of jobs in sectors, not separate economies or markets. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “aprroximately,” “miliion,” “goind,” and “approximatelly.” Use standard terms such as “employment,” “sector,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully to make the account clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including longer sentences with time clauses and contrasts, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, some sentence structures are incomplete or awkwardly joined. For example, “Starting from the 1960, the manufacturing market was growing…” is not smoothly connected to the main clause, while “to having a peak 20 million jobs economy” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “the Healthcare could be said” and the missing spaces after full stops in “Overall,the” and “However,coming.” These issues sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled clauses for comparisons.

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