Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph below illustrates the employement distributation in the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriulture and Health Departments from 1960 to 2020

Overall, Manufacturing ratio was heights among other job sectore from the 1960 to 1980 after that time a sudden decline occured to the 2020, Where as Retail and Healthcare sector's was rising gradually and both sectore's have a significan rice till 2020. The Agricultre sector was among the lowest one in this tanure.

Number of jobs were 15 million in the manufacturing sector which increased at 20 million till 1980's this was the peak of this sector a decline showed in the jobs after 1980.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main period and several relevant trends: manufacturing rises to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining, while agriculture remains among the smallest sectors. However, the response addresses the graph only partially. It gives no figures or clear account of the retail and healthcare trends beyond saying they rise, and it does not report their endpoint values or compare them with manufacturing. The overview also says manufacturing was highest from 1960 to 1980, but does not explain that retail and healthcare reach about 16 million by 2020, matching and overtaking manufacturing. The response is 105 words, below the required 150, so important details are missing. Include a fuller overview and select key figures across all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an opening sentence introduces the graph, a separate paragraph gives an overview, and the final paragraph begins to describe manufacturing. The sequence from introduction to general trends and then a specific sector is understandable. However, the response ends after the manufacturing description, so there is no complete progression through the remaining data. Linking is also limited and sometimes awkward: “after that time” and “Where as” connect ideas, but the relationship between the trends is not developed. Use a clear overview followed by two body paragraphs that group related sectors, and connect comparisons explicitly—for example, contrast manufacturing’s decline with the continued growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sector,” “increased,” “decline,” and “peak,” so the reader can recognise the topic and broad trends. However, the range is limited, and several spelling and word-choice errors make the description less clear: “employement distributation,” “Agriulture,” “sectore,” “heights,” and “rice.” “Manufacturing ratio” is also not an appropriate way to describe the number of jobs; use “number of jobs” or “employment.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations such as “rose to 20 million,” “fell to 13 million,” and “remained the smallest sector.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms for figures would make your limited vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a contrast with “Where as” and a relative time sequence in “which increased at 20 million till 1980’s.” However, the longer sentence in the overview is difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation, and the final sentence has an incomplete comparison pattern: “increased at 20 million” should be structured as “increased to 20 million.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “Manufacturing ratio was heights” and the capitalised “Where” after a comma. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Build accurate short sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “while,” “before,” and “by 2020,” checking verb forms and punctuation.

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