Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in US that includes Manufacting, Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare. during the period 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing sector fluctuated sharply during the years, Slipping from 1st to 3rd spot. Whereas, Retail sector experienced steady increase in the number of jobs. Moreover, Healthcare sector saw the most significant upward trend during the years. Agriculture sector experienced decline during the period becoming the sector of the economy with least jobs.

In the year 1960, Manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs compared with retail and healthcare which only had approximately 6 million jobs at that time. Manufacturing jobs increased in the next 20 years reaching 20 millions employees in 1980. After that, manufacturing industry experienced a dramatic decline in its jobs with only 13 million jobs left in 2020. Whereas, Manufacturing sector jobs rose steadily to almost 16 million in 2020.

In addition to this healthcare sector jobs fall significantly to only 2 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, Retail sector experienced the most growth in its jobs raisng from approximately 2 million in 1960 to becoming the leading sector alongside retail sector with almost 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview of the main directions, including manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall and agriculture’s decline. However, several key details are misreported or contradictory, which limits how fully the graph is summarised. Healthcare rose from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, but you say it “fall significantly” to 2 million. Retail began at about 6 million, not 2 million, and manufacturing ended in third place rather than being clearly compared with the two sectors that reached about 16 million. The overview also calls manufacturing’s movement “fluctuated sharply,” which is imprecise. Check each series against the graph and report the major comparisons accurately and consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. This gives the reader some organisation, and you attempt to connect points with phrases such as “Overall,” “After that” and “In addition to this.” However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory references. For example, the final paragraph says healthcare fell to 2 million, then describes retail as becoming the leading sector “alongside retail sector,” making the comparison difficult to follow. “Whereas” is also used to begin sentences without a clear contrast, and the repeated “Moreover” does not always show how ideas relate. Group the sectors more clearly and use linking expressions only when the relationship between the figures is explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonably varied range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “steady increase,” “significant upward trend,” “dramatic decline” and “leading sector.” These choices show an attempt to move beyond basic repetition, and the overall topic remains understandable. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “Manufacturing sector fluctuated sharply” does not precisely describe its rise and fall, while “20 millions employees” and “jobs left” are not natural ways to report the figures. There are also spelling errors, including “Manufacting” and “raisng,” and some unnecessary repetition of “sector” and “jobs.” Aim for precise trend language and check spelling and common collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including comparisons with “compared with” and time clauses such as “After that.” Most of the meaning can be followed, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. The opening sentence has an awkward relative clause (“that includes”) and an incorrectly placed full stop before “during.” In “Healthcare sector jobs fall significantly,” the verb form does not match the past-time reporting, and “20 millions employees” has an incorrect plural form. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Slipping” and “Whereas” after full stops. Use consistent past tense for the historical data, check articles and plurals, and proofread sentence boundaries.

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