Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020. Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing was the largest employment sector in the early year, while the healthcare and reatil is grouth our the period. In contact, agriculture showed a downward trend. In 1960 manufacturing emloyed more than 16 million people, it is the largest sacter. This figer increased to 20 million in 1980, its figer 17 million in 2000 and more than 13 million in 2020. Healthcare is more remarkable because 1960 in more than 6 million employer and 1980 this graph is high aproxmately 10 million people i this and last more than 16 million employer in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad pattern that manufacturing was largest early on and that agriculture declined, and you include some figures for manufacturing and healthcare. However, the response is incomplete: retail is mentioned only in the overview, with no supporting figures, and agriculture’s actual values and stages are not reported. Some figures are inaccurate: healthcare was about 2 million in 1960 and 5 million in 1980, not more than 6 million and approximately 10 million. The overview also misses the key endpoint comparison: retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. The response contains 104 words, below the required 150, so several important features remain undeveloped. Add a fuller account of all four sectors and check values against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall shape: an opening, a brief overview, and a paragraph with selected details. The overview’s contrast between manufacturing and agriculture gives the reader some direction. However, the information does not progress clearly through the graph: the final paragraph moves from manufacturing to healthcare and stops, leaving retail and agriculture without a systematic comparison. Linking is also limited, and phrases such as “its figer 17 million in 2000” make the sequence of changes difficult to follow. Use separate, logically ordered comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and connect each period with clear time markers. This would make the report easier to follow without simply adding more linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “employment sector,” “increased,” and “downward trend,” and the reader can generally identify which sectors you mean. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the report harder to read, including “reatil,” “grouth,” “emloyed,” “sacter,” and “aproxmately.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “the manufacturing was the largest employment sector” and “more than 16 million employer.” Choose accurate terms for the data: jobs or workers rather than “employer,” and “rose to” or “stood at” when describing figures. Proofreading spelling and using a few precise trend verbs would improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex overview sentence and shorter statements about changes, but grammatical control is inconsistent. The opening has subject–verb disagreement in “The graph illustrate,” and the overview contains faulty structures in “the healthcare and reatil is grouth our the period” and “In contact, agriculture showed.” The manufacturing sequence also lacks a complete grammatical structure: “its figer 17 million in 2000.” Articles and sentence boundaries need attention as well. These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning, and the response relies mainly on simple statements rather than showing a controlled range of sentence forms. Practise complete clauses with accurate subjects and verbs, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000.”

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