Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph provides information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the line graph shows that healthcare and retail stand on almost equal position, manufacturing slightly down from first two sectors and agriculture stand on last position of the total.

In 1960, healthcare was stand on last position and in 1980 this sector slightly up from adriculture and in 2020 this sector stand on first position. Retail in 1960 was stand with agriculture

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and makes a broad attempt to describe their relative positions, including healthcare’s rise and agriculture’s low position. However, the overview is inaccurate: by 2020, healthcare and retail are tied at about 16 million, while manufacturing is lower at about 13 million; manufacturing was not “slightly down from first two sectors” throughout. The report gives almost no usable figures or comparisons, and it omits key trends such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining and retail rising steadily. The final sentence is unfinished, so the task is addressed only minimally. The response is also 79 words, below the required 150; this leaves too little space to summarise the main features adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt at organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and then a paragraph beginning to describe individual sectors. The time references “In 1960,” “in 1980” and “in 2020” provide some chronological direction. However, the progression is not sustained because the response ends mid-sentence (“Retail in 1960 was stand with agriculture”) and does not develop the sector-by-sector account. Connections between ideas are also unclear, particularly in the overview’s comparison of healthcare, retail and manufacturing. To improve, group the main trends into complete paragraphs and use clear comparisons and linking phrases to show how the sectors changed over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph,” “number of jobs,” and the names of all four sectors, so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “stand on almost equal position,” “slightly up from adriculture,” and “stand on first position.” The spelling “adriculture” also makes the intended sector harder to identify. Use standard trend language and accurate collocations to describe the data, for example, “were at similar levels,” “rose above agriculture,” and “had the highest number of jobs.” More precise vocabulary would make comparisons clearer and reduce strain on the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts simple statements and some time-linked clauses, but the grammatical range is very limited and errors occur frequently. Examples include “healthcare was stand on last position,” where the verb form is incorrect, and “manufacturing slightly down,” which lacks a finite verb. In “healthcare and retail stand on almost equal position,” the tense and article are problematic; “Retail in 1960 was stand” repeats the incorrect verb construction. The final sentence is incomplete, further affecting clarity. Practise complete past-tense sentences such as “Healthcare was the smallest sector in 1960” and “Retail and agriculture each employed about six million people.” Vary sentence patterns only after these basic forms are controlled.

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