Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, between 1960 to 2020

Overall,it is clear that employment in retail and healthcare increased considerably,

while agriculture a downward trend. Meanwhile, maufacturing rose intially before decreasing over the period.

In 1960, manufacturing stood at approximately 15 million jobs. This figure then increased to 20 million jobs in 1980 before decling to approximately 13 million in 2020. After that, retail employment rose steadily to form about 6 million jobs in 1960 to around 16 million jobs in 2020.

Healthcare employment also increased significantl, rising from approximately 2 million in 1960 to around 16 million jobs in 2020. By contrast, agricultural experienced a downward trend, falling from about 6 million jobs in 1960 to roughly 2 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main broad trends: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare rising from 2 to 16 million. However, the account is partial: it omits key intermediate values and comparisons, such as retail reaching 15 million in 2000 and healthcare overtaking agriculture and approaching retail by 2020. The phrase “After that” also makes the retail trend unclear, and the overview does not state that manufacturing was the largest sector in 1980. The response is 119 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail provided. Add a fuller comparison of the four series and their positions at the end of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is not always clear: “After that” follows the manufacturing figures but then introduces retail, so the link between the ideas is confusing. The body also groups manufacturing and retail in one paragraph, then healthcare and agriculture in another, without a clear comparative principle. Some transitions, such as “By contrast,” are useful, but the relationships between sectors are not developed consistently. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare—and use linking phrases that accurately signal those relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of trend vocabulary, including “increased considerably,” “downward trend,” “rose,” “declining,” and “falling.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and “stood at approximately” is appropriate for describing a figure. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “maufacturing,” “intially,” “decling,” and “significantl” appear to be misspellings, while “agricultural experienced” uses an adjective where the sector noun is needed. The phrase “rose steadily to form about 6 million jobs” is also an awkward way to describe a rise from that starting point. Check spelling carefully and choose precise collocations such as “employment stood at” or “the number of jobs rose from … to …”.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple statements and more complex structures, including “before decreasing over the period” and “falling from about 6 million jobs … to roughly 2 million.” Most of the intended meaning can be followed, but grammatical control is uneven. The overview contains a fragment in “while agriculture a downward trend,” which needs a verb, such as “while agriculture followed a downward trend.” The opening uses the incorrect time construction “between 1960 to 2020”; use “between 1960 and 2020.” In “rose steadily to form about 6 million jobs in 1960,” the sentence structure does not clearly express the starting value and endpoint. Improve accuracy by checking complete clauses, parallel time expressions, and sentence patterns for describing changes.

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