Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph represent the job market in different sectors of the US economy from the time frame of 1960 to 2020.
The manufacturing sector has shown a decline from 15 million job in 1960 to around 13 million in 2020 although the sector had peak employment at around 20 million in 1980 after which a gradual decline started.
the retail sector has shown a sharp increase over the years starting from 5 million jobs to around 16 million jobs in 2020 but after 2000 the sharp decline converted to a slo and steady growth.
The ony sector to have seen a fall in the job is the agriculture sector where the has been continious decline from 6 million jobs to around 2 million in 2020
The healthcare has also seen a sharp continious increase in the number of jobs starting from 3 million in 1960 to over 11 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify several important trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before falling and agriculture declining overall. However, the account is only partly complete: there is no clear overview bringing together the main comparisons, and some figures or trends are inaccurate. Retail rose from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020; it did not decline after 2000, but continued to rise more slowly. Healthcare reached about 16 million in 2020, not just over 11 million, and it began at about 2 million rather than 3 million. Also, retail and healthcare were joint-highest by 2020. Select and report these key features accurately, with a concise overview.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response gives each sector its own paragraph, which helps the reader distinguish the trends, and it generally follows the chart’s time sequence. However, the organisation lacks a clear overall progression: it begins with a general introduction but provides no separate overview of the main patterns, and the sector-by-sector paragraphs feel like a list rather than a connected summary. Linking is also limited, with repeated openings such as “the … sector has shown” and few comparisons between sectors. Some sentence boundaries and paragraph openings are not handled consistently. Add an overview after the introduction, group related trends where useful, and use clear comparisons such as manufacturing’s fall against the continuing growth in retail and healthcare.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “decline,” “peak employment,” “sharp increase,” and “gradual decline,” so the main trends are usually understandable. There is some range, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise: “the job market” is broader than the chart’s measure of jobs in four sectors, and “the sharp decline converted to a slo and steady growth” does not describe retail’s actual trend clearly. Spelling errors such as “ony,” “continious,” and “slo” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling; for example, describe retail as continuing to rise, but at a slower rate after 2000.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt longer sentences with contrast, as in the manufacturing sentence beginning “although,” and most of the intended meaning can be followed. However, control is uneven, with errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and clause construction. For example, “The graph represent” needs a plural verb, while “15 million job” needs a plural noun. The agriculture sentence, “where the has been continious decline,” is grammatically incomplete, and the final sentence lacks a full stop. Several sentences also begin with lowercase letters after paragraph breaks. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then combine them with correctly punctuated clauses using “although” or “while.”
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