Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the grapicall representation show that the graph is consist of 4 line and each line have a different type of repersention and have there jops value from 1960 to 2020 we started up with the first line which show

In the beginning the first line show the 2.5 and it is healthcare department that show the demand of healthcare increase from 1960 to 2020 and 16 miliion jops in the year of 2020 and the second number is agriculture it take a good start from 6milion jops in 1960 and then suddenly decrease there jop demand from 6 million to 2.5 milion in the year of 2020.So the third number of jop is retail it start from the 1960 the jop demand is in 6 million and then with increase of year the jops is also increase with the rate of 16 million in the year of 2020.that is very great start in the end the final jop is manufacturing the jop of manifacturing is increase from 15million jop from the year 1960 it take a good start and inrease from 15 million to 20 million in the year of 1980 and then decrease from 20 million to 18 million and then in the year of 2020 its jops demand is to low 12million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including healthcare and retail rising and agriculture declining. You also give useful figures for manufacturing, such as its peak of 20 million in 1980. However, the response does not provide a clear overview of the main comparisons: it never states that manufacturing was initially the largest sector, or that retail and healthcare reached about 16 million by 2020. Some figures are inaccurate, including healthcare at 2.5 million initially (about 2 million) and manufacturing at 18 million in 2000 (about 17 million). The opening mainly describes the graph rather than summarising its key features. Select the most important overall patterns and report the data more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a recognisable sequence, moving through healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing, and time markers such as “In the beginning,” “in the year of 2020” and “then” help show chronology. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs or a distinct overview followed by supporting details. The opening sentence is unfinished, and several long sentences run together, making relationships between points difficult to follow. Repeatedly introducing each sector as a “line” or “number” also makes the progression mechanical. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and grouped details—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use full stops to separate comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increase,” “decrease,” “demand” and “million,” so the reader can identify the general trends being described. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “jop(s)” and “increase” appearing repeatedly, and several word choices are imprecise: “good start” and “very great start” do not describe graph trends clearly. Frequent spelling errors, including “grapicall,” “repersention,” “miliion” and “manifacturing,” also make the report harder to read. Use standard sector names and precise trend language, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked” and “fell to,” while checking spelling and avoiding informal evaluations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to connect ideas and describe change over time, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur frequently. For example, “the graph is consist of 4 line” has an incorrect verb form and number agreement, while “each line have” also lacks agreement. The opening sentence is incomplete, and the long sentence beginning “In the beginning the first line show” contains several clauses without clear punctuation. Articles, plurals and tense forms are often missing or inconsistent, as in “the jop demand is in 6 million.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, using accurate patterns such as “The number of jobs was…” and “It rose from… to…,” then add more varied structures once these are controlled.

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