Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graphs illustrates the job figures in four different industries from 1960 to 2020 in the USA.
Overall, the numbers in the healthcare sector went up considerably, while manufacturing and the agriculture industry numbers dropped. Although retail industry job figures also increased and went up to the same point as healthcare.
In 1960, the manufacturing industry provided 15 million jobs and in 1980 those numbers came to 20 million but after that there was a consistent decline and by 2020 it came to 12 to 13 million only. On the other hand, healthcare numbers were almost 2 million in 1960 but after two decades it rose to 5 and then the figures crossed 10 million and in 2020 there were 15 million job numbers in the healthcare industry.
The retail sector made a huge progress in terms of job figures and from 50 lakh in 1960, the retail industry came to 1.5 crore in 2000 but after that the numbers remained constant till 2020. However, with similar numbers the agriculture industry continuously dropped in the number of given jobs as from 5 million in 1960, those numbers decreased to the lowest point with just 2 million only.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, healthcare rises strongly, and agriculture falls. You also make useful comparisons, especially noting that healthcare and retail reach similar levels by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Retail rises to about 16 million in 2020, rather than remaining constant after 2000, and agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture “dropped,” which misses manufacturing’s initial rise. Your coverage is relevant, but the retail trend and some figures need more precise reporting, and the overview should distinguish the sectors’ different stages of change.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. The sequence from the earlier years to 2020 is generally easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “However” help signal comparisons. Some connections are less effective, though. The overview’s final sentence beginning “Although” is incomplete as a standalone sentence, and “with similar numbers” does not make clear which sectors or figures are being compared. The retail and agriculture information is also combined in one paragraph without a fully clear relationship. More precise referencing and smoother links between comparisons would make the progression more consistently clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a relevant range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “consistent decline,” “rose,” “crossed,” and “decreased.” These choices communicate the main movements, and terms such as “sector” and “industry” suit the topic. However, some expressions are imprecise or awkward for an academic chart summary: “job numbers,” “made a huge progress,” and “the lowest point with just 2 million only.” The use of “50 lakh” and “1.5 crore” is also less suitable for an international report where the graph gives figures in millions. Aim for consistent units and more natural collocations, such as “employment rose substantially” or “the number of jobs fell to around two million.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including time clauses and contrast structures, and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors are noticeable but do not generally prevent communication. For example, “The line graphs illustrates” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Although retail industry job figures also increased…” is an incomplete subordinate clause. There are also awkward constructions such as “those numbers came to 20 million” and “there were 15 million job numbers.” Work on agreement, articles, and complete sentence structures, and check that each clause has a clear main verb. These corrections would make your otherwise understandable comparisons more controlled.
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