Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph depicts the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors. This is recorded under the economy of USA between 1960 and 2020, measured in millions.

Overall, the graph shows that most of the sectors increased considerably throughout the period, while healthcare and agriculture continued to decrease at a certain point.

In 1960, manfacturing began as the highest proportion at 15 million, followed by retail and agriculture that stood equally with just over 5 million each. While healthcare stood the lowest with just over 1 million jobs approximately. Subsequently, manufacturing rose by 5 million more while retail and healthcare sector continued to increase to 10 million and 5 million respectively by 1980. Agriculture, however, began to decrease at just below 5 million.

By 2020, retail and healthcare remained the highest sector with just over 15 million jobs. Manufacturing on the other hand, decreased rapidly to 13 million. Finally, agriculture remained the lowest proportion with at least 1 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview of broad change, then support it with several figures, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 and its later fall to 13 million. However, the overview is not fully accurate: healthcare increased throughout the period, rather than decreasing, and retail also rose overall. The account is also unevenly developed. It gives little detail about the 2000 figures, when retail reached 15 million and healthcare 11 million, and the final comparison that retail and healthcare were the highest in 2020 could be made more precise: both were about 16 million. Agriculture’s endpoint is understated as “at least 1 million” rather than approximately 2 million. A more accurate overview and fuller coverage of the later trends would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into a clear introduction, overview and two chronological detail paragraphs. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “by 1980” and “By 2020” help the reader follow the data, while contrast markers including “however” and “on the other hand” distinguish trends. This gives the report a logical progression. Some connections are less effective: the overview says healthcare decreased, which conflicts with the later account of its increase, and “Finally” introduces agriculture without a clear comparison to the other sectors. The 2000 data are also skipped, leaving a gap in the progression across the period. Grouping the sectors by trend and including the midpoint would make the organisation more complete and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “depicts,” “stood,” “rose,” “decreased” and “remained,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “recorded under the economy,” but this is not a natural collocation; “in the US economy” would be clearer. “Highest proportion” is also imprecise because the graph reports numbers of jobs, not proportions. The spelling “manfacturing” is an error, and “continued to decrease” inaccurately describes healthcare. Aim for precise language that reflects the data, and vary expressions for increases and decreases without using phrases that imply a share or proportion when reporting totals.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including the contrast clause “While healthcare stood the lowest” and the sentence beginning “Although” is not needed to convey the trends. Most sentences remain understandable, and time references are generally handled clearly. Some grammatical control is still uneven. “While healthcare stood the lowest with just over 1 million jobs approximately” is a sentence fragment, and “retail and healthcare sector” needs plural agreement (“sectors”). In “retail and agriculture that stood equally,” the relative clause is awkwardly attached; a direct construction such as “retail and agriculture each stood at…” would be more controlled. Continue using complex sentences, but check that each has a complete main clause and that singular and plural forms agree.

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