Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in different sectors like Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare of the economyin the US between 1960 and 2020

The jobs in 1960 to 1980, an increase was seen from 15 million to 20 million jobs. After that there was major drop in jobs has seen from 18 million in 2000 to 13million in 2020. goingforward Healthcare and Retail jobs has rapidly increasing from 6 millions healthcare jobs in 1960 to 16million in 2020 and retails has 4millions in 1960 to 16milions in 2020. similarly Agriculture jobs has blown down in jobs from 6 millions in 1960 to 3 millions in 1980 and 2000 as well and last 2millions in 2020.

healthcare and retail jobs has seen a drastic increment in their jobs in every 20 year gap,While manufacturing and agriculture jobs are fluctuating and at last their numbers are decreasing by the time of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad movements: manufacturing rises before declining, healthcare and retail grow, and agriculture falls. The figures for manufacturing in 1960, 1980 and 2020 and for agriculture are mostly accurate. However, some key details are misreported: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000, not 18 million; retail starts at about 6 million, not 4 million; and healthcare rises from about 2 million, not 6 million, in 1960. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture are “fluctuating,” although both show an overall decline after their respective peaks, and it misses that retail and healthcare reach roughly the same level by 2020. More precise comparisons and a clearer overview would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a broadly sensible order, moving from manufacturing to the other sectors and ending with a general comparison. This gives the reader some overall progression. However, the information is compressed into two paragraphs with no clear, separate overview, and several transitions are awkward or unclear, such as “goingforward” and “similarly.” The opening sentence is not properly punctuated, while the final sentence repeats the idea that some sectors rise and others fall without adding a clear comparison. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then adding a concise overview, would make the organisation easier to follow. Use linking expressions selectively and ensure each comparison clearly identifies the relevant years and sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increase,” “drop,” “rapidly increasing” and “decreasing.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph description. “Blown down” does not convey a decline appropriately, “drastic increment” is an awkward collocation, and “the jobs … has” uses an unsuitable form in context. There are also spelling and spacing problems, including “milions,” “13million” and “economyin,” which make the writing less polished. Aim for precise, conventional trend language and check spelling and word forms. Reusing a small set of accurate terms is preferable to choosing expressions that do not fit the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to describe changes across several time periods, but sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “The jobs in 1960 to 1980, an increase was seen” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “there was major drop in jobs has seen” combines incompatible constructions. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent in “Healthcare and Retail jobs has rapidly increasing,” and the final sentence has a long, poorly controlled structure. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the unpunctuated opening and the lower-case “goingforward.” Practise complete sentences with accurate past-tense verbs, articles and agreement, and separate longer comparisons into clear clauses.

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