Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following graph illustrates the economy of four sectors in the US between the years 1960 to 2020. There is a significant changes over the years in the flow of the sectors. Half of them declined and rest rose up over the years.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare sectors increased signififantly from 1960 to 2020. Initially, these sectors were at the bottom but started increasing each decade. Retail sector was already holding a position above 5 and by 2020 it crossed 15 on the other hand healthcare sector was at its lowest position and started rising up significantly over the decades and by 2020 it reached the same point as retail sector.

However, Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors declined over the years. Manufacturing sector was at 15 in 1960 and after a decade it increased to 20. Unfortunately it began to decrease and by 2020 it went below 15, on the other hand agriculture sector was already at the low point to began with. However, over the decades it constantly decreased and by 2020 it went below 5 and stuck between 0 to 5.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrast accurately: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall overall. The overview also notes that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels, matching the chart. Several figures and trends are reported correctly, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 in 1980 and agriculture’s low level by 2020. This gives the response a clear, relevant account of the main features. To make the coverage more complete and precise, include the key endpoint values: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, manufacturing falls to about 13 million, and agriculture to about 2 million. Also clarify that retail rises steadily, whereas healthcare grows especially strongly after 1980; the phrase “each decade” is not fully supported by the four plotted years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate discussion of the rising and declining sectors. This makes the main comparisons easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Overall” and “However” help signal the stages of the report. The organisation is coherent, though some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “on the other hand” is used within long sentences where a full stop or clearer contrast would improve the progression. The repeated “over the years/decades” also makes the account feel less precise. For stronger cohesion, group the series by their patterns and use explicit comparisons between endpoint values, while keeping each sentence focused on one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe the graph, including “increased,” “declined,” “reached,” and “position,” and the reader can understand the broad trends. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “significantly.” However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a data report: “flow of the sectors,” “holding a position,” and “started rising up” do not describe employment figures naturally. “Significant changes” is also too general when the chart shows distinct rises and falls. Spelling errors such as “signififantly” are noticeable, and repeated use of “sector” and “over the years” limits range. Prefer precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” and “stood at,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts joined with “while” and “on the other hand,” and the overall meaning remains understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. The opening “There is a significant changes” has subject–verb and number agreement problems; “between the years 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern; and “was already at the low point to began with” has an incorrect verb form. Several sentences also run together, particularly the sentence about manufacturing and the one comparing retail with healthcare, so punctuation and clause boundaries need attention. Aim for shorter, controlled sentences and check agreement, verb forms, articles, and prepositions when editing.

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