Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts information about the ratio of jobs in four different sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the United State from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Healthcare and Retail sectors have the highest number of jobs in latest year. Whereas Agriculture has the least number of jobs in all time.

After analyzing the line graph, it can be seen clearly that Healthcare and Retail sector shows a parallel growth till 2020. where they collide at approximatly 16 millions in jobs and they both starts at under 6 millions jobs.

Further, the graph shows that the Agriculture sectors begins with 6 millions of jobs market in 1960 after that its shows continuously drop in following years till 1 millions job. while, Manufacturing hold there position at 15 millions jobs in 1960. Afterthat it reached at the highest peak at 20 millions jobs in 1980. Then the ratio of manufacturing industry falling down till 13 millions jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. The overview also correctly notes that agriculture is the smallest sector throughout. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare and retail do not show parallel growth, since retail rises more gradually and healthcare accelerates particularly after 1980. They meet at about 16 million in 2020, but both do not start below six million: retail and agriculture begin at around six million, while healthcare starts at two million. Agriculture ends at about two million, not one million. The main features are relevant, but more precise comparisons and accurate reporting of the starting and ending figures would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to descriptions of the rising sectors and then agriculture and manufacturing. This gives the reader a generally coherent account, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Further” signal transitions. Some links, however, are mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “After analyzing…” combines the healthcare and retail trends without explaining their different rates of growth, and “Further” does not clearly show how the next paragraph relates to the previous one. The fragment-like transition “where they collide” after a full stop also interrupts the flow. Grouping the trends more deliberately and using clear comparisons between sectors would create stronger progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “highest peak,” and “continuously drop,” so the reader can follow the general trends. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Ratio of jobs” suggests a proportion rather than a number, while “they collide” is not an appropriate way to say that two figures become equal. “Hold there position” and “the ratio of manufacturing industry” also make the description less precise. Spelling errors such as “approximatly” and “Afterthat” further reduce control. Aim for accurate trend language and standard collocations, such as “the number of jobs,” “reached the same level,” and “declined.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “after that” and “while,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in verb agreement and tense: “Healthcare and Retail sector shows” should use a plural subject and verb, while “they both starts” should be “they both start.” There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation problems, as in “in 2020. where they collide,” and the long agriculture sentence needs clearer separation of its clauses. Articles and plurals are sometimes missing or inconsistent, for example “1 millions job.” More accurate agreement, sentence boundaries, and control of past-tense reporting would improve clarity.

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