Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The healthcare and the retail sectors have the highest number of jobs while the agriculture sector has the smallest number of jobs. However, the manufacturing sector declined at the end of the period.

The healthcare sector increased gradually to above 15 million of jobs in 2020. The retal sector stood at 6 million of jobs in 1960 and grew sharply to about 15 million of jobs in 2000 before increasing slightly to about 16 million of jobs. The agriculture sector was at around 6 million of jobs in 1960 and this figure fell to nearly 2 million of jobs in the end of the period. The manufacturing sector was 15 million of jobs in the beignning of the period and this amount climed to 20 million of jobs in 1980. After that the manufacturing sector dropped marginally to just under 15 million of jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the overall contrast between the growing healthcare and retail sectors and the small, declining agriculture sector, and you report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and retail’s rise to about 15 million by 2000. This gives the response a relevant overview and clear coverage of the main trends. However, the overview says healthcare and retail have the highest job numbers without clarifying that manufacturing was highest for much of the period and that healthcare and retail only reached joint-highest levels by 2020. Healthcare’s rise is also described only generally, although it grew from about 2 million to 16 million. More precise comparisons and a fuller account of this trend would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a sensible order: an introduction, an overview, and then details about the sectors. This makes the main information easy to follow, and phrases such as “After that” help signal a change in the manufacturing trend. The sector-by-sector approach is clear, but the overview and detail paragraphs could connect the trends more effectively through direct comparisons—for example, noting that healthcare overtook agriculture and approached retail by 2020. Some repeated wording, particularly “million of jobs,” makes the progression feel mechanical. Use a wider range of concise references such as “this figure” or “the sector,” and group related rising trends together where useful. These changes would make the organisation more flexible and the comparisons more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased gradually,” “grew sharply,” “declined,” and “dropped marginally,” which helps distinguish different patterns. The meaning remains clear, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Million of jobs” is repeated and is not the natural form; use “million jobs” or “jobs, in millions.” “The retal sector” and “climed” are spelling errors, while “in the beignning” also contains a spelling error. The phrase “at the end of the period” would be more natural than “in the end of the period.” Greater accuracy with these common expressions, alongside more varied comparison language, would improve precision and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, including the contrast in “After that the manufacturing sector dropped…” and the clause “while the agriculture sector has the smallest number of jobs.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, so errors rarely obstruct understanding. Some grammatical patterns need more consistent control: “15 million of jobs” should be “15 million jobs,” and “above 15 million of jobs in 2020” needs a clearer construction, such as “to about 16 million jobs by 2020.” The overview also shifts into the present perfect (“have”) while describing a completed historical period; past forms would be more consistent. Capitalisation after “Overall,” and punctuation after introductory transitions should also be checked. More accurate noun phrases and tense choices would strengthen the writing.

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