Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph provides the data about number of occupations in four different feilds of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, a rise was seen in the count of employments in healthcare and retail sectors however the increase in number of healthcare jobs was more considerable. On the othe hand, the number of jobs was decreased with time in agriculture as well manufacturing industies.
Firstly, the number of jobs in manufacturing industry rose from 15 million to 20 million however, after 1980 this number begin to fall gradually by 2020. Similarly, employment in retail sector declined and the number of job were less than 5 milion by the year 2020.
On the other hand, a sharp increase in number of jobs in healthcare industry was noticed after 1980 as equal number of employment for retail sector was seen in 2020. Meanwhile, the retail industry showed an increase in count of jobs as there were more than 15 million jobs for this sector by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies some broad trends, including growth in healthcare and retail and a decline in agriculture, but several central details are inaccurate or unclear. Most importantly, it says retail employment “declined” and fell below five million by 2020, whereas the chart shows a steady rise from 6 million to 16 million. It also describes manufacturing as decreasing “with time,” although it first rises to a peak of 20 million in 1980. The overview therefore misrepresents the main pattern, and the account of agriculture gives no figures or clear comparison. To make the summary more complete, report the key turning points and end values accurately, and state that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, with signposts such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “On the other hand.” However, progression is weakened by the way retail is described inconsistently: it is said to decline in one paragraph, then to increase in the next. The final two sentences also repeat the retail trend rather than developing a clear comparison, while agriculture receives little supporting detail. Some linking phrases, particularly “On the other hand,” do not clearly signal the relationship between the ideas that follow. Grouping the sectors by trend and using each paragraph to report a consistent set of comparisons would make the organisation easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “considerable,” “gradually,” “sharp increase,” and “employment,” and the general subject remains understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “count of employments,” “number of job,” and “equal number of employment.” Spelling slips in “feilds,” “othe,” “industies,” and “milion” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “number of jobs” and “industry” limits flexibility. Use standard chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “rose to a peak,” and “fell to,” checking spelling and whether nouns are countable before finalising the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses joined with “however” and “as,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Nevertheless, errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence punctuation. For example, “this number begin to fall” needs a past-tense verb, while “the number of job were” has a singular/plural agreement problem. “The number of jobs was decreased” uses an awkward passive construction, and the opening sentence is missing an article before “number.” Commas are also needed around or instead of some conjunctions, as in the manufacturing sentence. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation in longer sentences.
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