Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of healthcare and retail jobs shown rapid growth throughout the 60 years period, whereas jobs in argriculture decreased over the same period. Moreover, although number of jobs in manufacturing kept increasing for many years, it went through a steady decline.

The number healthcare and retail jobs started at about 2 and 6 million, respectively, in 1960. The following two decades, both sectors increased nearly at the same rate in jobs number, reaching about 5 million for healthcare and 10 million for retail. Healthcare rate of increase surpassed retail, which resulted in 11 million jobs, while retail only reached 15 million in 2000. By 2020, healthcare's rate increased again, while retail'saHo rate decreased, causing them to converge at about 16 million jobs each.

However, agriculture started at 6 million, the same as retail, yet it decreased to 3 million jobs by 1980. The number of jobs within the sector remained for the two decades, until it started to decline again, reaching about 2 million jobs in 2020. Manufacturing, on the other hand, started at 15 million jobs in 1960 and peaked at 20 million jobs by 1980. But, the number of jobs went through a steady decline, untill it reached nearly 13 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture falls, and manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining. The overview also identifies the convergence of healthcare and retail at around 16 million by 2020, a useful comparison. Most reported values match the chart. To make the account more fully developed, clarify that manufacturing first rose from 15 to 20 million before its decline, rather than saying it “kept increasing for many years,” which is imprecise. The overview’s claim that retail and healthcare grew “throughout” is broadly accurate, but the later description of retail’s rate decreasing is unclear: its job total still rises slightly from 15 to 16 million. Overall, the key features are covered and supported, with a little over-generalisation in the trend wording.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and two detail paragraphs grouping the growing sectors separately from agriculture and manufacturing. This makes the information easy to follow, and transitions such as “However” and “on the other hand” help signal comparisons. The progression within the healthcare and retail paragraph is also chronological. Some cohesion is less controlled, however. “The following two decades” is followed by a comparison that could more clearly distinguish the 1980 and 2000 figures, while “which resulted in” makes the relationship between the sectors’ trends sound causal. The final paragraph shifts between sectors without a particularly smooth link. More precise referencing and transitions would make the connections less mechanical and support a more consistently fluent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is adequate vocabulary for describing the graph, including “peaked,” “decline,” “converge,” and “remained,” and the writer uses several relevant trend expressions. Meaning is generally clear, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “jobs shown rapid growth,” “in jobs number,” and “healthcare’s rate increased” do not express the trends naturally. “Rate” is also used where the number of jobs is meant, and “steady decline” is not quite precise for the manufacturing line’s overall fall. Spelling slips such as “argriculture” and “untill,” along with the corrupted “retail’saHo,” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms such as “employment,” “job numbers,” and “rose” or “fell,” and proofread carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast clause with “whereas,” a relative clause beginning “which resulted in,” and a sentence with “although.” These attempts help convey comparisons, and the main trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “in US” needs an article, “the number of healthcare and retail jobs” is missing “of” after “number,” and “jobs shown rapid growth” has an incorrect verb form. “The number of jobs within the sector remained for the two decades” is also incomplete or awkwardly constructed. Review article use and ensure each clause has a clear, correctly formed verb. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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