Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph chart comapres between number of employment in four different sectors in US from [redacted phone].

Overall it is clear that, Healthcare sector showed an upward trend, while Agriculture sector expierenced the lowest trend. It is also noticable that, Manufacturing recoreded the highest figure, whereas Agriculture had the lowest.

Looking first at Mannufacturing sector, number of jobs was 2.5 millions in 1960. It then increased gradually to10.1 millions in 2000, before reaching to 15.1 millions in 2020. Similarly, Retail sector sector started from 5 millions in 1090 and rose to 15 millions in 2020.

Turning to the Agriculture sector value was 5 millions, after that is fell to 2.5 million in 2020. In contrast, Manufacturing sector also experienced the downard trend. in 1980 figure was 20 millions highest amoung of every sector then it sebsequently declined 16 millions in 2000, before reaching to 13 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies some relevant broad patterns, including healthcare rising and agriculture remaining the smallest sector, and it attempts to compare manufacturing with retail. However, several key figures and trends are substantially misreported: manufacturing begins at about 15 million, not 2.5 million, and rises to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining; retail starts at about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million in 1990. The overview also incorrectly says manufacturing recorded the highest figure overall, overlooking healthcare and retail reaching about 16 million by 2020. The account is therefore only partially accurate and omits important features. It is also two words below the required minimum. Prioritise an accurate overview and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Phrases such as “Looking first” and “Turning to” help signal movement between sectors. However, the progression is not consistently clear because the manufacturing discussion is split across paragraphs, and the final paragraph returns to manufacturing after discussing agriculture. Some links are also awkward or incomplete, such as “after that is fell,” which makes the relationship between details harder to follow. Grouping the sectors more deliberately—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and keeping each comparison in one paragraph would create a clearer overall progression. The current organisation is present, but cohesion is sometimes inaccurate and the sequence feels uneven.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “declined,” “sector,” and “figure,” and these choices show an attempt to describe changes rather than simply list numbers. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “comapres,” “expierenced,” “noticable,” and “recoreded.” Phrases such as “lowest trend” and “number of employment” are not natural ways to describe the graph, while “sector sector” is repetitive. Use accurate collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “the lowest employment level,” and “employment rose steadily.” Careful proofreading of spelling and avoiding repeated words would make the description clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts at complex sentences, including “It then increased gradually … before reaching…” and “Overall it is clear that…,” but the range is limited and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include the missing article in “Looking first at Mannufacturing sector,” the faulty construction “before reaching to 15.1 millions,” and the sentence fragment “in 1980 figure was 20 millions highest…” The phrase “after that is fell” also contains an incorrect verb form, and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly the lower-case “in” after a full stop. Practise complete sentence patterns for describing figures, use consistent past-tense verbs, and check articles, plurals, and punctuation. These corrections would make the intended comparisons easier to understand.

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