Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph elucidates the information regarding the number of jobs in four different departments of the economic in the United States, between 1960 and 2020.

15 million jobs was avaliable in the manufacturing department in 1960. Although, the figure reached its peak level of 20 million in 1980, but it dramatically declined to 17 million in 2000 and finished at 14 million in the last year. In addtion, the agriculture sector recorded to 6 million jobs in 1960, the figure declined to 4 million in 1980 and ended with 2 million in 2020.

In 1960, about 6 million jobs was in the healthcare department and the figure sharplly inclined throughout the period and ended with 16 million in the last year. The number of jobs in the retail sector had roughly 6 million in 1960 and it sharply increased in the next four decades.

Overall, the heathcare and agriculture department showed an upward trend. While, the agriculture sector experienced a downward trend in the given period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to 20 million before falling, and healthcare’s increase to 16 million. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph because key trends and comparisons are missing or inaccurately reported. Retail is described as increasing, but its figures for 1980, 2000 and 2020 are not given, and the account does not note that it and healthcare finish level at about 16 million. The overview is also contradictory: it says both healthcare and agriculture rose, then correctly says agriculture declined. Manufacturing’s final figure is slightly high, while agriculture’s 1980 figure is overstated. Give a clear, accurate overview and cover all four sectors consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to sector details and then an overview, and the time sequence is generally easy to follow. Some linking is attempted through phrases such as “In addition” and “Overall.” However, the progression is weakened because the overview comes after the details and contradicts them: agriculture is first described as declining, then included among sectors with an upward trend. “Although” and “but” are also used together in the manufacturing sentence, making the connection awkward. Grouping the main rises and falls into a clearer overview and using paragraphing to separate the overview from supporting details would make the organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “reached its peak,” “declined,” “sharply increased” and “throughout the period.” These choices help communicate changes over time, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “departments of the economic,” “jobs was available,” and “the retail sector had roughly 6 million jobs.” There are also spelling errors in “avaliable,” “addtion,” “sharplly” and “heathcare.” Use standard sector terminology and precise trend language, for example, “the economy,” “the sector employed,” and “the figure stood at.” Proofreading spelling and collocations would improve control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a sentence with “Although” and clauses describing changes over time. Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors are evident. For example, “15 million jobs was available” has subject–verb disagreement, and “Although …, but …” incorrectly combines two contrasting structures. In “the figure sharplly inclined throughout the period and ended,” the verb pattern is awkward, while “the number of jobs … had roughly 6 million” does not use an appropriate construction for reporting a figure. The overview also uses a sentence fragment beginning “While.” Practise accurate agreement, clause linking and standard reporting patterns such as “there were” or “the figure stood at.”

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