Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph compares the amount of occupation in four departments of the local in America between a period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retailing and food production jobs increased over the passage of time. On the other hand manufacturing and medical care faces a significant decline from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, there are 15 million people doing jobs in manufacturing departments. Conversely 3 to 6 million people perform work in healthcare, retailing and agriculture. Sale-purchase and food production were on the same level in university 1960.

In 2000, number of jobs in manufacturing department dropped, after facing a slight increase until 1980. Similarly crop producing jobs declined gradually.

Conversely medix and retailing gradually increases and reaches at the same level about 15 million jobs in 2020. While manufacturing and retailing reaches around 8 and 2 million respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the broad subject and attempts an overview, but several central trends and figures are misreported, so the graph is not summarised reliably. It says retail and “food production” increased, although agriculture declined, and claims manufacturing and medical care declined, whereas healthcare rose markedly. The final comparisons are also reversed or inaccurate: in 2020 retail and healthcare were both about 16 million, manufacturing was about 13 million, and agriculture about 2 million—not 8 and 2 million for manufacturing and retail. The opening figures for 1960 are unclear, and the response is 10 words below the required minimum. To improve, give a concise, accurate overview and select key figures that support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then details, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “Conversely” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the account jumps from 1960 to 2000, briefly mentions 1980, and then gives an unclear final comparison. Some links also suggest relationships that do not fit the data, and “Sale-purchase and food production were on the same level in university 1960” is hard to interpret. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate chronological or trend-based paragraphs for details, with clear references to each sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “gradually,” and “reaches,” so the reader can recognise that it is describing trends. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes obscuring the meaning. “Amount of occupation” and “departments of the local in America” do not describe the graph clearly; “food production” is not the same as agriculture, and “medix” is unsuitable. “Sale-purchase” is also an awkward substitute for retail. Use the chart’s sector labels consistently and choose precise trend language, such as “employment in agriculture fell” or “healthcare jobs rose.” Check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including “On the other hand…” and “after facing a slight increase until 1980.” However, errors in tense, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some statements difficult to understand. For example, “In 1960, there are” should use past tense, while “medical care faces” and “retailing gradually increases” do not maintain the past-time frame. The sentence beginning “Conversely 3 to 6 million people perform work…” is incomplete or unclear, and “manufacturing and retailing reaches” has a subject–verb agreement error. Practise describing past data consistently in the past tense, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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