Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph represents the different job types in the US along four different departments from 1916 to 1920. it includes agriculture, retail, manufacturing and healthcare sectors.
maufacturing was on the top in the year 1960 and 1980s around 15 and 20 millions jovs respectively but it eventually drops to 16.5 and 13 millions jobs in the year 2000 and 2020.
the retail and healthcare started from the same number of jobs around 6 millions in the year 1960 but with the passage of time they face different patterns the retail sectors jobs increases to 16 millions by the year 2020 while the health sector jobs decreae to in the following years and was 3 millions in 2020.
The agriculture sectors jobs were less related to other sectors and it was arpund 3 miilions in 1960 but eventually the bobs increases and reached to 16 milluons by 2020 same as that of the retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response attempts to describe all four sectors, but several central trends and figures are misreported, so the graph is only partially summarised. For example, manufacturing is said to fall to 16.5 million in 2000, whereas the chart shows about 17 million; more seriously, healthcare is described as declining to 3 million, although it rises to around 16 million by 2020. The agriculture account reverses the trend: it falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than rising to 16 million. There is no clear overview identifying the broad contrasts, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and agriculture declining. Check each series against the graph and state the main overall patterns before giving details.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has some organisation: it begins with an introduction and then discusses manufacturing, retail and healthcare, followed by agriculture. Time references such as “in the year 1960” and “by the year 2020” help the reader follow the intended comparisons. However, there is no distinct overview, and the progression is weakened by inaccurate comparisons and unclear references, particularly “they face different patterns” and “it was around 3 millions,” where the sector being discussed is not always clear. The final paragraph also contradicts the chart, disrupting the overall account. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a concise overview, would make the information easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses a basic range of relevant terms, including “increases,” “drops,” “sectors” and “jobs,” which allows the reader to recognise the topic and intended trends. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices or spelling errors make the description less clear: “different departments” is not a natural way to describe economic sectors, while “less related to other sectors” does not express a meaningful comparison. There are also misspellings such as “maufacturing,” “decreae” and “miilions.” Use precise trend language and check spelling carefully; for example, describe agriculture as “declining steadily” rather than using the unclear phrase “less related.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including a comparison introduced by “but with the passage of time.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, tense, agreement and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. The opening has a fragment-like transition after “1920,” and “the retail sectors jobs increases” has faulty agreement and plural construction. In “the health sector jobs decreae to in the following years,” the verb pattern is incomplete, while “it was around 3 millions” does not agree in number. Use complete sentences, keep past-tense reporting consistent, and check subject–verb agreement and plural forms.
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