Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph ilustrates the information about the number of jobs in four different categories Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture,Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

From an overall perspective, Retail and Healthcare sector are top growing sectors while there is fluctuating in agriculture and same as Manufacturing.

To begin with, retail field accounted nearly 5-8 million jobs in year 1960 which rose to 15 million in 2000 almost 9-8 million additional jobs and in 2020 it up to 16 miilion. While, Healthcare sector had around 2 million vacancies in 1960 which reaches to nearly 11 million in 2000 further it grow to 15 million same as the Retail.

Furthermore, the two more sectors one of them manufacturing which holds to 15 miilion jobs in 1960 and it reaches to 20 million in 1980 after it declined to around 16 million in 2000 and till 2020 it accounted 15 million. Agriculture sector had flucuating trend where it added 6 million jobs in 1960 after that it reduced to 4 million and till 2020 it reduced to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture falls overall. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising from about 2 million to around 11 million by 2000. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail was about 6 million in 1960, not “5-8 million,” and healthcare reached about 16 million in 2020, rather than 15 million. Manufacturing fell to about 13 million by 2020, not 15 million. The overview also describes agriculture as “fluctuating,” although its overall direction is downward. More precise comparisons and a clearer summary of the final ranking would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the sectors. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “Furthermore” signal progression. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward: “While” begins a fragment-like transition, and “same as the Manufacturing” does not clearly show which trend is being compared. The overview groups agriculture and manufacturing together despite their different patterns, which weakens the progression of ideas. Improve cohesion by using clearer comparisons and references—for example, contrast manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall with agriculture’s steady decline—and ensure each sentence connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “accounted,” “declined,” “rose,” and “trend,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, several word choices and collocations are imprecise for describing a graph. “Vacancies” is not the same as jobs, “retail field” is less suitable than “retail sector,” and “it up to 16 million” does not express the increase naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ilustrates,” “miilion,” and “flucuating.” Aim for accurate, consistent terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “sector,” and use verbs like “increased to” or “fell to.” This would make the vocabulary more precise and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “which” and “after,” and the main trends are usually understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur in sentence construction, tense, agreement, and articles. For example, “Retail and Healthcare sector are” needs plural agreement and an article or plural noun; “which reaches” should use a past-tense form to match the period; and “in 2020 it up to 16” is missing a verb. The opening phrase “between 1960 to 2020” also uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Punctuation around the sector list and sentence boundaries needs attention. Practise writing complete, controlled sentences with consistent past-tense reporting and check subject–verb agreement.

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