Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data about the jobs numbers in four different economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed an increased in the numbers of jobs throughout the period. While the Manufacturing was the largest employer in beginning but in the final years its numbers decreased constantly. Agriculture showed a constant trend throughout the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing was the largest employer among all four sectors providing almost 15 million jobs in the market.Then in the next two decades,its number increased to 20 million jobs. After 1960 then manufacturer experienced decline in job numbers and its vacancies fell to nearly 17 millions in 2000. And by 2020, it became the third employer to provide jobs of almost 13 millions. Similarly, Agriculture also showed downward trend. Starting from 6 millions in 1960 and being the larger employer as compared to the Healthcare with the lowest job numbers among all but in coming decades its job number decreased constantly throughout the period. From 1980 to 2020, it provided jobs nearly 3 million throughout the period.

On the other hand employers like Retail and healthcare showed upward trend. Retail was providing 6 million jobs in 1960 and it vacancies jumped to 10 millions in 1980. In 2000, the job market was giving 15 millions jobs as a Retail employer. And in next two decades it matched the position of the largest employer by providing 16 millions jobs like Healthcare. Healthcare was the smallest employer among all in the beginning.But in coming decades its numbers increased significantly to almost 11 millions jobs in 2000. And by 2020 it became the largest employer like Retail to provide 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrasts: manufacturing starts highest and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview is relevant, and the body includes useful figures such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and healthcare’s rise to 11 million by 2000. However, some descriptions are unclear or inaccurate. Agriculture did not decline constantly: it remained at about 3 million from 1980 to 2000 before falling to 2 million. Also, manufacturing’s decline was not constant across the whole period, since it first rose to a peak. The claim that agriculture was a “larger employer” than healthcare needs clearer wording. More precise comparisons and a concise, accurate overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an overview followed by paragraphs that group manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This makes the main comparisons reasonably easy to follow. However, progression is weakened by repetitive sequencing phrases such as “Then,” “And by,” and “In coming decades,” and some links are awkward or unclear. For example, the agriculture discussion combines its starting position, comparison with healthcare, and later figures in a long sentence, making the timeline difficult to track. The phrase “After 1960 then manufacturer experienced decline” also disrupts the flow. Use clearer time-based organisation and more precise referencing, and avoid repeating the same transition patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “largest employer,” “downward trend,” “increased significantly,” and “decline.” These choices help communicate the broad movements in the graph. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, however. “Jobs numbers” and “its vacancies fell” do not express the data as naturally as “number of jobs” and “employment fell”; “the job market was giving” is also an awkward description of sector employment. The repeated use of “employer” and “provide jobs” limits precision, while “constant trend” is not a clear way to describe agriculture’s changing figures. Aim for accurate collocations such as “employment in the sector” and “the figure stood at,” and check word forms such as “increased” in the overview.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses beginning “While” and sentences that compare sectors. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “Retail and Healthcare showed an increased,” where the noun form is needed, and “the Manufacturing was,” where the article and capitalisation are inappropriate. Several sentences have faulty or incomplete structures, particularly “Starting from 6 millions in 1960 and being the larger employer…” and “After 1960 then manufacturer experienced decline.” There are also errors in number agreement and punctuation, such as “16 millions” and missing spaces after full stops. Build complete sentences around each comparison and check articles, verb forms, plurals, and sentence boundaries.

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