Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of America from 1960 to 2020. The unit measured in millions.

Overall, there was a gradual climb in the number of jobs in manufacturing industry over the given period.In agricultural industry we can see Job opportunities are falling steadily over the years. In Retail and healthcare industries a rise over the period of time.

The number of jobs in america was 15 million which peaked at 20 million in 1980 and continued to decrease moderatly to below 15 million in 2020. In 1960, the significant growth seen in retail industry. It was increased from 5 million to more than 15 million. In a agriculture industry similar pattern was observed. The number of jobs are below 5 million and there was gradual climb

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and mention several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and agriculture’s decline. However, the account is incomplete and contains important inaccuracies: manufacturing did not climb gradually throughout, as it fell after 1980, and the retail description gives no clear starting year or accurate sequence. Healthcare is mentioned only in the overview, with no figures or comparison, while the final agriculture sentence is unfinished. The response therefore selects too few key features and does not report them clearly or accurately. It also contains 126 words, below the required 150; the 10 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from this count. Add a complete overview and support each sector’s trend with key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by an overview and then a paragraph with figures. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression is weak because the final paragraph moves between sectors without a clear comparison, and the agriculture point stops mid-idea. Connections between sentences are also limited; for example, “In 1960, the significant growth seen in retail industry” does not clearly link the year to the subsequent change. The overview uses repeated sentence openings and presents trends as separate statements rather than grouping related information. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details by meaningful comparisons, such as rising sectors versus declining sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peaked,” “decrease,” “gradual climb,” and “number of jobs,” so the topic is generally understandable. The range is nevertheless limited, and several choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “Job opportunities” for the number of jobs shown, “a agriculture industry,” and “significant growth seen in retail industry.” “Moderatly” is also misspelled, and repeated use of “industry” makes the description less precise. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow, particularly where the retail trend is described. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions and use sector names consistently; for example, describe employment as rising, falling, remaining stable, or reaching a peak.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including a time clause in “The number of jobs in america was 15 million which peaked at 20 million in 1980.” However, the range is limited and errors occur frequently. “The unit measured in millions” is a sentence fragment, while “In Retail and healthcare industries a rise over the period of time” also lacks a main verb. There are problems with tense and agreement in “It was increased” and “The number of jobs are below 5 million,” as well as missing punctuation after “period.” Capitalisation and article use are inconsistent. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and punctuation before submitting.

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