Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in millions, in the market but its position changed to the second last right before the agriculture sector, at the end of the period. Meanwhile, the retail and healthcare depicts a similar trend of a steady increase in the jobs from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector had 15 million employees which peaked in 1980 but steadily declined till 2020 with around 12 million jobs in the sector. In contrast, The agriculture sector had approximately 6 million jobs initially, which gradually decreased till 1980 after which it plateaues till 2000 to decrease even more with only 1 million jobs available 2020.

On the other hand, the retail and healthcare sector show a similar trend. The healthcare sector had only 1 million jobs while the retail industry accounted for around 6 million in the market. Their proportions showed a steady increase till the retail sector became more stable in 2000 with 15 million jobs. However, both the sectors reported a value slightly above 15 million at the end of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview also notes manufacturing’s loss of its leading position. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 12 million; healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 1 million; and agriculture ends at about 2 million, rather than 1 million. The claim that manufacturing finishes “second last right before” agriculture is also misleading, since it is tied with retail and healthcare at roughly 13–16 million? More precisely, retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, above manufacturing. The trends are relevant, but the comparison of final rankings and some figures need more precise reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This gives the reader a sensible route through the information, and transitions such as “In contrast” and “On the other hand” help signal comparisons. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent arrangement and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. However, a few links are awkward or unclear, especially “its position changed to the second last right before the agriculture sector,” which makes the final ranking difficult to follow. The final paragraph also moves between healthcare and retail without consistently distinguishing their figures. Use clearer comparisons and refer to each series explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of task vocabulary, including “peaked,” “declined,” “gradually decreased,” and “steady increase,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “accounted for” and “proportions.” Some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing job totals: “in the market” is unnecessary, “proportions” does not accurately describe the number of jobs, and “second last right before” is an awkward way to express a ranking. “Plateaues” is also misspelled. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more precise collocations and accurate word forms would make the account more fluent and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including relative clauses such as “which gradually decreased” and contrast structures beginning “In contrast” and “On the other hand.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the retail and healthcare depicts” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the retail and healthcare sector show” has a mismatch between the singular “sector” and plural verb. The phrase “till 2020” is also used where “until 2020” would fit more naturally, and “available 2020” is missing a preposition. Review agreement and sentence endings, while retaining the range of clauses you already attempt.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.