Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph gives information about the number of jobs in four sectore of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Firstly we will discuss manufacturing sector in which we can see 15 millions jobs oppurtunities and then the ranking goes up in 1980 with 20 million job oppurtunities and later we can see decline in jobs till 2020. The next one sector is retail which was lower in 1960 but later the job oppurtunities started rising till 2020,which is one of the best sector for job oppurtunities. Now the next one is agriculture which also the most popular and large sector in the world. We can see a clear decline in the agriculture field about job oppurtunities from 1960 to 2020 which is considered really bad. And the last one sector is the healthcare which was not much good as compare to job oppurtunities in 1960 but it goes up in later years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining and agriculture falling over the period. However, the response is only a minimal summary: it gives no clear overall overview and omits important comparisons, especially that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020, while healthcare rises sharply from the lowest starting point. Some claims are unsupported or inaccurate: agriculture is called “the most popular and large sector,” and comments such as “really bad” are opinions rather than chart reporting. The response also contains 136 words, below the required 150. Add a concise overview and accurate figures for the main changes and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the chart’s four sectors in sequence, so the reader can identify which topic is being discussed. However, the information is not arranged into a clear report structure: there is no distinct overview, and the repeated transitions “Firstly,” “The next one sector,” “Now the next one,” and “And the last one” make the progression mechanical. Several ideas are joined in long sentences, while comparisons between sectors are not grouped together. Paragraphing would help separate an overview from the key details. Organise the response around the main patterns—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture versus rising retail and healthcare—and use clear links to compare their endpoints.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the sectors and describe basic movement, using phrases such as “decline in jobs” and “started rising.” However, the range is limited and repetitive, particularly through repeated use of “job opportunities” and “sector.” Some choices are imprecise or unsuitable for an academic chart summary: “ranking goes up” does not clearly describe the manufacturing trend, while “one of the best sector” and “really bad” express evaluation rather than neutral description. There are also spelling errors, including “sectore” and “oppurtunities.” Use precise trend language such as “peaked,” “fell,” and “increased steadily,” and choose neutral terms like “employment” or “number of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine information using clauses, as in “manufacturing sector in which we can see 15 millions jobs opportunities,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, the response relies heavily on simple sentence patterns and contains frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “15 millions jobs” should use a singular number expression, and “one of the best sector” has incorrect number agreement. The phrase “as compare to job opportunities” also shows faulty grammatical construction. Punctuation is inconsistent, including the missing space after the comma in “2020,which.” Practise accurate comparative and trend sentences, such as “Healthcare employment rose from 2 million to 16 million,” and check articles, agreement, and punctuation.

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