Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors (Manufacruring,Retail,Agriculture,Healthcare) at US over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs was counted in million. Manufactruring starts with the highest number but ends at third place. Wheres, healthcare starts at last but stayed at the top position in the last year.

At first, we can see that 15 million pleople choose manufacturing as their job in 1960. Then, it had experiecned a significant growth and raeched at the top with 20 million in 1980. After that, it faced a decline and reached at 13 million in 2020 the final year.

Next, both retail and agriclture starts from same place which is 6 million in 1960. But both had diffrent result at the ending year. Agriculture gained the lowest position with 2 million in 2020. On the other hand, retail gained the highest position with 16 million in 2020. There are also a shocking details about healthcare. It starts from the lowest but acquired the highest position same as retail. It starts with 2 million in 1960 but ends with same number as retail in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall shifts: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, while healthcare grows from the lowest starting point to joint-highest, and agriculture finishes lowest. The key figures you give—manufacturing at 15, 20 and 13 million, and the sectors’ final values—are consistent with the chart. This covers the task well and gives a clear overview. However, some trends are less fully reported: retail’s steady rise from 6 to 16 million and healthcare’s progression through 5 and 11 million are not described, and the overview could state more precisely that retail and healthcare are joint leaders in 2020. Adding these intermediate comparisons would make the account more complete and developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing sector details. Sequencing phrases such as “At first,” “Next,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the comparisons, and the main points are generally easy to locate. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, however, and the final paragraph repeats the same endpoint information about retail and healthcare rather than developing a clearer comparison. “Both retail and agriculture starts from same place” also introduces a comparison that is not carried through consistently. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with more precise links between their trends, would create smoother progression and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “significant growth,” “decline,” “lowest position,” and “highest position,” so the main information remains understandable. There is some variety in how you describe changes, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a chart report: “people choose manufacturing as their job” suggests a choice rather than a number of jobs, while “gained the highest position” is an awkward way to describe a final ranking. Spelling errors such as “Manufacruring,” “experiecned,” and “agriclture” are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations such as “employment in manufacturing,” “rose to,” and “ranked joint highest”; careful proofreading would improve control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast structures with “but” and “On the other hand,” and most of the trends can be understood. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with tense, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “both retail and agriculture starts” should use a plural verb, and “Manufacturing starts with the highest number but ends at third place” shifts into the present tense while describing past data. “Wheres, healthcare starts at last” is not a complete, correctly punctuated sentence. There are also missing articles or prepositions in phrases such as “at US” and “reached at the top.” Use consistent past tense and check each sentence for a complete clause and accurate grammatical patterns.

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