Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chart illustrates the number of manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased dramaticaly throughtout the given period, in contrast to agriculture which employees decreased steadily. Regarding the field of manufacturing, the jobs generaly fell despite a minor rise in the begining of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing provide 15 million jobs, whereas the vacancies from healthcare were approximately 3 million, almost one fifth of the the former. At the same period retail and agriculture offered the same number of jobs, which was around to 6 million. In the next two decades the jobs in manufacture increased by 5 million,reaching a peak at 20 million vacancies, folllowed by retail and healthcare, which reached at 10 million and 5 million respectivelly. Agriculture stand out as the only field that offered less than 5 million jobs.

From 1980, jobs in manufacturing decreased dramaticaly, falling lower than the inicial figure almost at 13 million jobs, in contrast to retail and healthcare which increased by 50 per cent and 200% respectively, slightly surpassing the former 15 million jobs that manufacturing was offering in 1960. As for agriculture, jobs in that field remained steadily until 2000 when they sligtly decreased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrasting trends: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The overview is relevant, and the figures for 1960 and 1980 are mostly reported accurately. You also make useful comparisons, such as healthcare’s growth relative to its starting point. However, the account is less complete at the end of the period: it does not clearly report the 2020 figures for retail and healthcare, which both reach about 16 million, or explain that they finish level. The statement that manufacturing falls to “almost at 13 million” is broadly accurate but could be expressed more precisely. To develop the response further, cover the final values and endpoint comparisons explicitly, while keeping the overview focused on the most significant changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data chronologically. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In the next two decades,” and “From 1980” help the reader follow the sequence, and comparisons between sectors are generally easy to understand. This gives the report coherent progression. Some connections are less smooth, however: the final paragraph combines manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture in a long sequence, making the comparison harder to track. “The former” is also not fully clear in its reference. Grouping the later trends more deliberately and using explicit sector names instead of ambiguous references would make cohesion more flexible and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “reaching a peak,” “remained,” and “surpassing.” These choices communicate the main trends, and terms such as “approximately” and “respectively” support a data-reporting style. However, several spelling errors and awkward or imprecise collocations are noticeable, including “dramaticaly,” “throughtout,” “vacancies,” and “offered less than 5 million jobs.” “Vacancies” is not the best term for the total number of jobs shown, and “dramatically” overstates changes that are better described neutrally. Greater accuracy in spelling and more natural collocations would strengthen the report’s vocabulary without requiring unnecessarily elaborate wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and “in contrast to,” and the meaning is generally clear. Some sentences are well controlled, such as the comparison of retail and agriculture in 1960. There are nevertheless several grammatical errors: “manufacturing provide” should be “manufacturing provided,” “agriculture which employees decreased” needs a clearer clause structure, and “Agriculture stand out” should be “Agriculture stood out.” Article and preposition patterns also need attention in “almost one fifth of the the former” and “around to 6 million.” These errors rarely prevent understanding, but more consistent control of verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction would improve accuracy.

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