Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in four regions of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall,it is showcasing about four different jobs. The healthcare which make progress in 2020 and agriculture which remain same at low. Additionally, retail and manufacturing those makes procession differently.

to begin with, the healthcare which was at 0 in 1960 and make little bit progress in 1980 at 5 however it continuing to upgrde level and reached at 10 in 2000. In 2020, it rose at 16. On the other hand, retail started at 6 in 1960 and acheived at 10 in 1980. In 2000, it attained at 15 and remain at same level with little advancement in 2020.

Moreover, the third one is manufacturing which was very popular in 1960 at 15. In addition, it acheived good headway in 1980 at 20. On the contrary, it started falling in 2000 under 20 and reched at 13 in 2020. Finally, the agriculture which is at lowest. In 1960,at 6. Afterthat, kept droping in both 1980 and 2000 at 3. In 2020, reached at 2.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and report their broad directions, including manufacturing’s rise and subsequent decline, healthcare’s growth, and agriculture’s fall. Several figures are also close to the chart, such as manufacturing at 20 in 1980 and agriculture at 3 in both 1980 and 2000. However, the overview is unclear and does not identify the key comparison that by 2020 retail and healthcare were joint-highest, while agriculture was lowest. There are also factual inaccuracies: healthcare began at about 2 jobs per million, not 0, and retail rose slightly from 15 to 16 between 2000 and 2020 rather than remaining at the same level. Make the overview more precise and check each starting and ending value.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing healthcare and retail, then manufacturing and agriculture. This grouping helps the reader follow the four series. However, progression is weakened by the vague overview and by mechanical transitions such as “to begin with,” “On the other hand,” “Moreover,” and “Finally.” Some links do not express a clear contrast or sequence, and the overview’s references to “different jobs” and “those” are unclear. Improve cohesion by grouping sectors according to their trends and using comparisons to connect them—for example, contrasting the steady decline in agriculture with the growth in healthcare. Clearer referencing and more purposeful transitions would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “falling,” “reached,” and “started at,” so the main movements can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report. “Make progress,” “continuing to upgrde level,” and “achieved good headway” do not describe numerical changes naturally; “regions” is also inaccurate because the chart shows economic sectors. Spelling errors such as “acheived,” “reched,” and “droping” further reduce control. Use precise, conventional trend language and check spelling: for example, “increased steadily,” “declined,” “peaked at,” and “remained broadly stable.” This would make the account clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can usually identify which sector and year you are describing. However, sentence structures are limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “The healthcare which make progress” lacks a complete, correctly formed clause, while “it continuing to upgrde level” has an incorrect verb form. “The agriculture which is at lowest” is also incomplete, and punctuation is inconsistent, as in “Overall,it” and “In 1960,at 6.” Practise writing complete clauses with accurate past-tense verbs, such as “Healthcare stood at about two million in 1960 and rose to five million by 1980.” Vary sentence patterns only after securing these basic forms.

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