Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of the US which include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in a period of time between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, between 1960 and 2020, the number of jobs in the US in manufacturing, retail and agriculture rose sharply, while the numbers of jobs in agriculture saw a slight to no change.

To begin with, the numbers of jobs in manufacturing witnessed a dramatic increase between 1960 to 1980 achieving between 15 to 20 million jobs in the US. The numbers declined slightly between 1980 and 2020, falling from a peak of 20 million to a drop in numbers between 10 to 15 million. Additionaly, in the the same time period between 1960 to 1980, retail saw a considerable rise in the number of jobs, from 5 to 10 million jobs, reaching a peak in 2020 slightly above 15 million jobs, passing the numbers of jobs in the manufacturing sector, whereas healthcare in 2020 achieved the same numbers.

Meanwhile, between 1960 and 1980, the agriculture sector saw an increase even higher than healthcare at some point, before declining modestly to an all time low in 2020 with only between 0 and 5 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and include some relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and retail overtaking it by 2020. However, the overview contains a major contradiction: it says manufacturing, retail and agriculture rose sharply, then says agriculture changed little; in fact, agriculture declined overall, while healthcare rose strongly. Several details are also inaccurate or too vague. Agriculture did not increase between 1960 and 1980, and its 2020 figure is about 2 million rather than an unspecified figure between 0 and 5 million. Healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million is largely omitted. To make the summary more complete, give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and accurately report the most important figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Time markers such as “between 1960 and 1980” and “Meanwhile” help readers follow the account, and the comparison between retail and manufacturing is relevant. However, the overview’s contradictory statements disrupt the progression, and the final paragraph introduces agriculture without clearly comparing its actual downward trend with the other sectors. Some linking is also mechanical or imprecise, particularly the repeated time-period phrases and “in the the same time period.” Grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with agriculture would create a clearer progression, while explicit comparisons would make the relationships between figures easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “dramatic increase,” “declined,” “peak,” and “considerable rise,” so the main trends are generally understandable. Some choices are imprecise or repetitive, however: “a drop in numbers between 10 to 15 million” is an awkward way to report the 2020 figure, and “achieved the same numbers” is not a natural collocation for describing employment levels. “All time low” is also less suitable when simply describing the lowest point shown. There are spelling and form slips, including “Additionaly,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, precise reporting language such as “fell to approximately 13 million” and “reached a similar level.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “before,” and “whereas.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “between 1960 to 1980” uses an incorrect preposition pattern; write “between 1960 and 1980.” In “the number of jobs … saw a slight to no change,” the singular/plural construction is inconsistent, and “the numbers declined … falling from a peak … to a drop in numbers” is structurally awkward. The sentence beginning “Additionaly” also contains the duplicated article “the the.” Review prepositions with time ranges, agreement, and sentence construction, and use shorter sentences when several comparisons are being made.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.