Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart illustrates information from 1960 to 2020 in the US --- the number of jobs available in Manufacturaing, Retail, Agriculture and Helthcare.

Overall, Healthcare and Retail reached it's highest point in 2020, while Agriculture reached it's lowest level. Although Manufacturing starts from IT'S peak in 1960, endedup the second favourable sector in the USA economy by 2020.

Between 1960 and 1980, Manufacturing provides employment rose from 15 million to 20 million, then converges to Retail where it started off. In 2020 Manufacturing reached it's lowest level represents 13 million jobs.

At the beginning of the period, Healthcare constitutes smallest porportion of the Us economy. The healthcare sector shotup to 16 million between 1960 and 2020, and overtake the proportion of employment against Manufacturing and Agriculture.

Retail started off with 5 million, went up to 15 million from 1960 to 2000. Between 2000 and 2020, the employment in USA increased marginally upto 16 million.

Agriculture began diverges from retail between 1960 and 2020. Between 1960 and 1980, the employment opportunities related to Agriculture dropped from 5 million to 3 million. Between 1980 and 2000, the employment plateaued, however a marginal decreased noticed between 2000 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s rise to 20 million and later fall to 13 million. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Manufacturing did not “converge[] to Retail where it started off”; in 2000 it was about 17 million, compared with retail’s 15 million. The overview also says manufacturing began at its peak, although its peak was in 1980. Agriculture’s starting figure is given as 5 million rather than approximately 6 million. To strengthen the response, make the overview more precise and compare the sectors’ relative positions at key dates, especially the shared high level of retail and healthcare in 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing manufacturing, healthcare, retail and agriculture. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and time markers such as “Between 1960 and 1980” help organise the account. However, the sector-by-sector sequence leads to some repetition of dates and makes comparisons between sectors less clear. A few linking expressions are also awkward or do not show the intended relationship, as in “Agriculture began diverges from retail.” Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with the declining agricultural trend would create clearer progression. Use linking phrases to express comparisons and changes accurately, rather than relying mainly on repeated time references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “plateaued,” “marginally,” “employment opportunities” and “reached its lowest level.” These choices help describe trends, but several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision. “Favourable sector” does not clearly mean a sector with many jobs, while “proportion of employment against Manufacturing” is an awkward way to describe a comparison. There are also misspellings such as “Manufacturaing,” “Helthcare” and “porportion,” and informal or non-standard forms such as “shotup” and “upto.” Aim for accurate collocations such as “the number of jobs in” and “overtook manufacturing,” and check spelling and spacing carefully. This would make your adequate range more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “Although” and “while,” and most of the main trends remain understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur in verb forms, agreement and sentence construction. For example, “Manufacturing provides employment rose” combines incompatible verb forms; “Agriculture began diverges” is also ungrammatical. In “Healthcare and Retail reached it's highest point,” the plural subject requires “their,” and “Manufacturing starts … endedup” shifts tense within the overview. Several sentences also lack a clear grammatical structure, such as “In 2020 Manufacturing reached it's lowest level represents 13 million jobs.” Use consistent past tense for the historical data and check that each sentence has a complete, correctly formed main clause.

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