Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This multi line graph illustrates the data about the number of vacancies in four sectors of economy including agriculture,retail,manufacturing and healthcare in the United States in a period of 60 years between 1960to 2020.

Overall,two sectors of economy,retail and agriculture experienced a sharp rise till 2020 and both are on the same level whereas, manufacturing initially saw a grdual increase then at a certain point a sharp declined had seen. Similar to manufacturing, jobs in healthcare also experienced a gradual fall.

On the first hand, in 1960 the vacancies of manufacturing were about 15 millions and after a sudden jump it rose tp 20 million in 1980. it experienced a sharp decline in 1980 and reached to almost 13 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare sector also saw a decline and fall to almost 2.5 millions from around 6 millions.

On the other hand, the two other sectors retail and agriculture experienced a rise and both rose to almost 16 millions.While in 1960 the vacancies of retail were arround 6 millions and agricultural vacancies were nearly 2.5 millions. The all four sectors of the US economy faced changes during this period of 60 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts an overview, but several central trends are misreported, which makes the account only minimally successful. Retail did rise, but agriculture fell from about 6 million jobs to 2 million; it did not rise or finish at the same level as retail. Healthcare also increased substantially, from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than declining. Manufacturing rose to a peak in 1980 and then fell, which is broadly captured, although the description of a sudden decline “in 1980” is unclear. To improve, give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends first, then select a few key figures to support it. Avoid claims that contradict the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and phrases such as “On the other hand” signal a contrast. However, the grouping is weakened because the overview incorrectly pairs retail with agriculture, and the final sentence repeats a general point rather than adding a useful comparison. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, including “On the first hand,” and punctuation spacing makes several transitions less clear. Organise the body around the actual patterns—rising sectors and declining sectors—and use linking expressions only where they clarify those relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is enough vocabulary to identify the chart and describe movement, including “sharp decline,” “gradual,” and “reached.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive. “Vacancies” is not the best term for the number of jobs shown; “jobs” or “employment” is more precise. “Both are on the same level” and “experienced a rise” also misrepresent or vaguely describe the data. Spelling errors such as “grdual,” “arround,” and “tp” further reduce control. Build a reliable set of trend expressions and use them precisely—for example, distinguish a rise from a fall and describe a peak as a peak rather than a “sudden jump.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “Similar to manufacturing.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to follow. For example, “manufacturing initially saw a grdual increase then at a certain point a sharp declined had seen” has faulty verb construction, while “it rose tp 20 million” lacks consistent sentence capitalisation and contains an unclear form. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “15 millions” and “2020. it experienced.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences before combining ideas with contrast clauses.

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