Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrartes the data about thenumber jobs in four economy sectors in US from 1960 to 2020.
As can be seen, the four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare. The number of jobs in healthcare, retail grow and manufacturing, agriculture drop in the year 2020.
At the start the number of jobs in healthcare rose sharply from 2 in 1960 to 16 in 2020 and the number of jobs in retail also rose sharply from 6 in 1960 to 16 in 2020. These two sectors increased in compared to other two sectors.
On the other hand the number of jobs in agriculture falls significantly from 6 in 1960 to 1 in 2020 and the number of jobs in manufacturing increased by 15 in 1960 to 20 in 1980 and after that decreased sharply to 14 in
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify all four sectors and report several relevant trends, including the rise in healthcare and retail and the fall in agriculture. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not clearly compare the sectors at the end, when retail and healthcare are joint highest, or note that manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 1 million, and manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, rather than 14. The final sentence is also unfinished, leaving the account incomplete. The response is 13 words below the required minimum. To improve, complete the final comparison and report the main turning points accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, a brief overview, and then details about rising and falling sectors. Phrases such as “As can be seen” and “On the other hand” help signal the stages of the account. However, progression is limited because the overview and detail paragraphs repeat the same broad trends without developing a clear comparison across the four sectors. The final sentence stops at “decreased sharply to 14 in,” which disrupts the ending and leaves the reader without a complete account. Grouping the sectors more systematically—for example, describing the two rising series together and then the declining ones—would make the organisation clearer. Add a concluding comparison of the 2020 figures and ensure every sentence is complete.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “rose sharply,” “increased,” and “decreased,” and the sector names are appropriate to the task. The range is nevertheless limited, with repeated use of “number of jobs” and “rose” or “increased,” and some expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “increased in compared to other two sectors.” There are also spelling and spacing errors in “illustrartes” and “thenumber,” which reduce the accuracy of the writing. Aim for more precise language to describe trends and comparisons, such as “employment,” “reached a peak,” and “by contrast.” Check spelling and collocations carefully so that the reader can follow the data without hesitation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and joined sentences, for example, “At the start the number of jobs in healthcare rose sharply…” and the sentence contrasting agriculture with manufacturing. However, control is inconsistent, and several grammatical patterns are faulty. In “the number of jobs in healthcare, retail grow,” the verb form does not agree with the subject and the tense should reflect the past period. “Increased in compared to” is not a correct grammatical construction, while “increased by 15 in 1960 to 20 in 1980” uses the wrong preposition for describing a change. The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “in.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and comparison structures, and proofread each sentence for a complete clause and correct prepositions.
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