Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four different part of an economy in the US between the years 1960 and 2020.

Overall, employement in the retail and healthcare increased over the period of time. While manufacturing and agriculture experienced declines. Manufacturing was the largest employment sector, but retail and healthcare had almost equal jobs in the year 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing employed 15 million people, and increased to 20 million in the next 20 years. However, this figure has gradually decreased to 17 million in the year 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Similarly, agriculture employment was at 6 million in the year 1960 and reamained the same at 3 million from the year 1980 to 2000 and then droped down to 2 million in 2020.

In contrast, retail jobs had a steady increase from 6 million to 10 million in year 1980 and raise up to 15 million in 2000 and approximately 16 million in 2020. Healthcare also showed rapid groowth from 3 million in year 1960 to 5 million in year 1980 and then had a dramatic growth to 12million in 2000 and 16 million in year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline, and you support this with figures across the period. The manufacturing peak and subsequent fall are reported accurately, as are agriculture’s decline and retail’s steady growth. Your overview also notes that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels, although they are both about 16 million in 2020. One factual detail needs correction: healthcare starts at about 2 million in 1960, not 3 million, and reaches about 11 million in 2000 rather than 12 million. The statement that manufacturing was the largest sector is true for much of the period but not in 2020, when retail and healthcare are higher. More precise comparisons at the endpoint would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “However,” “Similarly,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships between the data. At times, though, the connections feel somewhat formulaic, and the long sentences in the detail paragraphs combine several years without much variation. For example, the manufacturing sentence moves through three later figures in one sequence. Consider separating key comparisons and using clearer references to the period or sector, so the progression feels more deliberate and less like a list of values.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “employed,” “gradually decreased,” “steady increase,” and “dramatic growth,” which helps describe changes rather than merely repeat figures. Some choices are imprecise or awkward, however: “the data about the number of jobs” is less natural than “the number of jobs,” and “had a dramatic growth” is not a natural collocation. There are also spelling errors, including “employement,” “reamained,” “droped,” and “groowth.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for precise, natural trend language and check spelling carefully; avoid using several near-synonymous growth expressions when a simpler verb such as “rose” is clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including contrast clauses with “While” and “However,” and most of the data remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist. The opening overview uses a sentence fragment: “While manufacturing and agriculture experienced declines” should be joined to the preceding sentence or made independent. Tense control is inconsistent in “this figure has gradually decreased” within a past-time account; use “decreased.” There are also issues with articles and number, as in “in year 1980,” and with sentence construction in “and raise up to 15 million.” These errors rarely obscure meaning, but more consistent past-tense reporting and complete, well-formed sentences would improve control.

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